tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4807180913108287708.post7838837933577034762..comments2023-08-13T04:25:25.780-04:00Comments on Life Blessons: The Story of How I Decided to Leave Everything I Knew and Move in Pursuit of God (Part 2)carmen @ life blessonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11436197171458180834noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4807180913108287708.post-86220191001039032752013-10-18T21:33:18.898-04:002013-10-18T21:33:18.898-04:00Hello, I love your site and reading about your li...Hello, I love your site and reading about your life! I also moved far away from my home at age 25 and I moved to a big city in canada called toronto. I only knew one person and not well. This was 1989! I am now 49. I moved also out west twice and did not know a soul there, I had a job lined up the second time at min wage but not the first. The first time I took a male friend with me who was also out of work- he got alot of good work out there but turned out he was an angry person who was bipolar and I did not know this. I left him after awhile and moved to another city that I thought would be good for me. I had no work or did not know anyone but I vaguely knew one man. This was a huge mistake for me I ended up losing my housing. THen I got a job in my field and my employer lent me money for my rent as it was 2000 dollars and I did not have a credit card (I used to). On my first move I fell in love to a man and he was from another country. We were together for 11 years but we were poor. I left him a few times as I missed my home and family (once for 10 months). He was moving out to vancouver in 1998 so wanted me to move with him as his brother was coming to canada. I did not like to be so far away plus i felt he was putting his brother a head of me which meant I was sacrificing and I should not have done this. I was there for 5 years, I was out of work for the first 10 months. Neither of us had family there. Eventually I got a great job but I had h arassment there to the point that I ended up with anxiety. I was 34 at this point. I used to cry all weekends dreading work monday. While I worked he went to college and worked part time, his course was very hard. His lost his brother right in the middle of exams and it was very harsh they would not give him a chance to rewrite at a different time. He did manage to graduate but his first job was only 12 an hour and they worked him hard. At this point all my friends were married with homes, kids, husbands with good jobs and trips including my 3 sisters. I was getting pressure from family to leave him although we got on amazing he was a different race but I really loved him and he did me or at least i thought so. So in 2000 at xmas I went home for xmas (3 years since I was home) and my dad was sick. he just started a new job at a better place that had alot of potential. So I went and my dad had 3 weeks to live with cancer so I stayed and then came back- very d epressed. I had no friends in that city now did he other than 2 acquintances, I was out o work 10 months at this point too. We did get engaged when dad was dying but i felt later that i pushed this guy maybe that was wrong. I knew he would have mar ried me as after all we were together for 12 years. So h e said if your not happy in this city maybe u should not stay and he said its up to you and i said your right Im not (this city is very nasty for a white woman its called vancouver)- so I left not thinking of what i was doing. We talked for 1.5 years on and off after this but it seemed his life was getting better and mine was going to poverty. He was with one girl and it did not work out. Then he was single and bought a home and fixed it up and sold it..then he met another girl and we talked but she got very possessive and jealous so she told him no contact. I lost contact for over 5 years. I have a friend who stays in touch with him. At one point I asked him to help me iwth money and he said get your family to- this kind of shocked me as i helped him for years.....so then he got married 2 summers ago. He told my firend he didnt want contact with me it was so hurtful. I still love him and he is my soulmate it took alot of time and hurtful men to come to this realization that he is the best man for me.........but its a very small chance for us...........he is with her, she is very controlling too and i dont think he will last with someone like that,he married a chinese woman and thats their culture..........so since then i have livedin poverty living in rooms, never got to have kids i am 49 now, never got a stable career.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com