Dear Claire: Happy Birthday to My Two-Year Old!

(I've been writing monthly updates to my daughter, Claire, documenting all the changes that come with the passing weeks. You can catch up on past letters here.)

Dear Claire,

It has been awhile since I’ve sat down and wrote you a letter. These past few months have flown by and I can barely remember what life was like when you hit the 18-month mark, which just encourages me all the more to continue penning these letters and records every once in awhile.

Right now, you are sitting next to me on the couch watching one of the two television shows that you will actually sit still for: Baby Genius kids sing-along-songs and Sesame Street (but typically only the ones where they are singing). You sure do love your music. It is a language that runs deep through your blood, I can tell. You love to dance and will often incite (demand?) anyone else in the room to get “Up! Up!” and join you. You have started even singing along with certain refrains from some of your favorite songs, of which “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift is still one. There are innumerable Sesame Street ones, as well, and I have also started introducing you to more wholesome girl pop groups, since you seem to love that genre so much. (Daddy is busy exposing you to a variety of bands, of which Quiet Hounds is easily your favorite so far.)

For Christmas, you got a children’s piano that you love playing and when we go to friends’ houses with full-size pianos, you love pulling up on the stools and playing a tune. For your birthday, we are giving you a children’s guitar. It’s still a bit big for you, but you love laying it on the ground and strumming along with Daddy when he serenades you.



You still are my little helper. This afternoon, I was shoveling the driveway and you fished out your sand shovel for the beach and joined me in scooping piles of snow. Oftentimes when I am in the kitchen, working away, you will come to me and ask, “Help! Help!” so that you can assist in some way. Consequently, you enjoy helping me load and empty the dishwasher, put away groceries, take your clothes up to your room and clean/wipe off surfaces (so much so, that we often have to cut you off from the tub of cleaning wipes).

Spiritually, I love seeing you so readily embrace the love of Jesus. So often, his love is seen as weird and awkward and something to be shunned. But to you, it is just natural. You love to pray and at meal times oftentimes won’t start to eat until we “Amen.” At nighttime when I ask what you want to pray for, you consistently want to pray for “Shake shake” (what you call YouTube), Daddy, your grandparents, and “Peh,” whose meaning I still haven’t deciphered. Right now, we walking through the season of Lent and, to try to teach you why Easter is so monumental, have started a tradition of creating an Easter Tree with short Scripture readings for each day that we hang on the branches. You caught on to this so easily when we did something similar during Advent that I imagine these efforts will continue as traditions for years to come.

You are readily finding your voice, talking more and more with each passing week. You are also starting to string together sentences, oftentimes of the “I want ____” and “I need ____” variety, but this morning you busted out, “My shirt is all wet!” Right now, many of your words sound alike (bath/ball/back; Bible/bubble; hand/hair) but that doesn’t stop you from trying and adding more each day. You also love telling us about what just happened, so if you were playing with Daddy, you will find me and enthusiastically wave your hands around to show me how you guys were playing and chatter awhile while doing so.



You are also doing pretty well with potty-training, an endeavor we started working on a couple of months ago when you decided you want to run around the house naked all the time. We aren’t too strict about it and you still wear a diaper most of the time (you don’t like the undies we got you, even though they are Hello Kitty), but I imagine that if we (I) buckle down, by summer we could be well into potty-trained territory.

You love coloring, going barefoot, Elmo, slides (what you call “Wee!”s), kitty cats, caring for your babies, going to the community center’s indoor pool (“poo”), washing your hands, going shopping, walking in the grocery store (no shopping carts for you anymore, unless they’re the kid-sized ones and you’re pushing them!), having your back and feet rubbed (don’t claim we never spoiled you!), and hanging out with your grandparents and uncles/aunts. You are doing very well at saying please, thank you, excuse me and covering your mouth when you cough/sneeze (so much so that you remind us to say/do in case we forget).

Other stats include:
Height: 33 inches
Weight: 21.25 lbs.
Clothing size: 2T
Shoe size: 6
Teeth: Waiting on 2-year molars

Even as you physically and developmentally grow and change, your personality remains the same: Happy and joyful. Always ready to smile and laugh or attempt to make everyone else do the same. Even after being disciplined, you can hardly hold back a smile. The only time you seem sad is when you are apart from one of us in your close circle of family (and then it’s devastating for you). And of course, since you’re a toddler, there are plenty of meltdowns over frustrations of not getting your way, but they don’t last long and you are easily distracted or (lately), we tell you go to your “fuss corner” and tell the “fuss plant” (a peace lily that has looked like it’s dying for the past three years but still holds on) and you lay down and cry for a moment and then reemerge settled.

But overall, you are so happy and enthusiastic about everything. In short, you are a joy and keep this house on its toes and are never, even for a second, boring. My life was good before you came along. Certainly, it was easier. But still, it was very good. Now, though, I look back and the part in Ezekiel where he’s prophesying about the Valley of Dry Bones comes to mind: “…'This is what the Lord GOD says to the bones: I will cause breath to enter you so you will come to life. I will put muscles on you and flesh on you and cover you with skin. Then I will put breath in you so you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.’” (Ezekial 37:5-6) That feels like what the Lord has done to me with you. My life was mere bones before you. But with you came new muscles and new skin, new breath, a new life. You have changed me and reinvigorated me in a way I never knew I needed or wanted or could have become. And in doing so, you have shown me the Lord: his goodness, his provision and care, his mercy, his love.

Love,
Mom

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Dear Claire: 18 and 19 Month Updates

 

(I've been writing monthly updates to my daughter, Claire, documenting all the changes that come with the passing weeks. You can catch up on past letters here.)


Dear Claire,
A year and a half, you have been my daughter and a year ago we uprooted you and moved from Georgia to my home state of Ohio. You have officially spent more time as a Buckeye than a Peach, and that fact is a testament to how quickly time flies.

Over these past two months, you took your first trip to the beach and dipped toes in the sand, hands in the ocean for the first time. You were not scared or stunned by it, but embraced it quickly, learning to love the splash and the salty breezes with gusto. You also started going into the nursery at church without a problem. I don't know when or how it happened, but all of a sudden, when we left the room you were completely at ease and played plenty until we returned at the end of the service. While I enjoyed getting to spend time with you in there and get to know the other nursery volunteers better with each passing week, I'm glad to get to sit through an entire service and know that you trust that we're not forsaking you, but that we'll be back soon. It's a good feeling knowing you feel safe, without having to shed a single tear in the process..

One of the things I've been noticing of late is how your personality comes out in different situations. For the longest time I was convinced you were an extrovert, always loving going shopping and waving hi to all the cashiers. But then when we went to a splash park where other kids were running through the sprinklers without a care, you stuck close to me, making sure to never let go of my hand while we watched and you inched close enough to dip your toes in a puddle. Then, we had a few families over for dinner and I thought you'd love the ample playmates, but the. I caught you playing on your own in the corner or wanting me to hold you most of the time. It's scenes like these where I feel I am getting a better grasp for who you are and what you need. (So far, I think you prefer adults and older kids (girls, especially) in small groups, though you're always up for people-watching, so long as you feel safe with mom or dad.)

Otherwise your personality at home continues to bubble over, as you're picking up new words fairly quickly. You were the flower girl (flower fairy girl, actually) in your aunts wedding, and we coached you to say "cheese," and you were practicing it in your sleep! Your vocabulary so far: mama, dada, no, uh-oh, ball, Elmo, shoe, hat, kitty, cheese, woof-woof, ah-ah (imitating a monkey noise), hot, hi, bye, home, duck, sheep, baby, eyes, please, two (as in "one, two, three"), amen, book, and you're adding to it almost daily it seems!

Your disposition continues to shine as such a cheery one. Your name, "Claire," means "bright," and I think that is so fitting. You are constantly smiling or laughing and always vying to make us do the same. Even when I try to discipline you, your lip might quiver for a moment, but then you bust into a smile and I can't help but smile back and laugh. There is an unending joy that bubbles up from within you and I love it. It makes my life so much brighter, too, to watch you enjoy and drink in this world around you.

You're also becoming more and more of a help to mommy. This morning, I was installing a new light in the bathroom we recently overhauled, and I dropped a tiny screw. You were playing at my feet, so I asked you to retrieve it, unsure if you even knew where it fell. But you found it and handed it to me immediately. I hope that servants heart of yours continues to flourish and bring joy to a world that is in so much need of help and that darling little smile of yours.

Also, seemingly overnight you began taking a huge interest in books, much to the delight of your mama and dada whose book collection spans an entire wall in our new house! You love to pick through your book collection (pretty vast, in its own right), and bring us book after book to read through. I am not sure where this came from, because for so long you would not sit still to read and had no interest except in turning the pages. But I did not rush or fight that, and still you developed a love all your own. Which is something that awes me, because, even in this limited, small instance, I can see the Lord at work, shaping you and making you something fascinating and beautiful—all on his own. I am here to walk alongside you and read the books out loud, but he is the one doing the work, creating you and breathing life into your interests and passions and development. As a mother, this is a great comfort to me, because I know that I do not do this work alone. I have the Lord to help me, a God who loves you far more than either of us can fathom and to fill in all the gaps of my failures and shortcomings when it comes to parenting.

All in all, both you and I are learning much together as the months continue to tick by, and for that I am thankful. We both are ever growing, ever coming into our own as mother and daughter, and as the people God so lovingly fashioned us to be. For that, Glory be to God.

Love,
Mom

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Dear Claire: 16 and 17 Month Updates

(I've been writing monthly updates to my daughter, Claire, documenting all the changes that come with the passing weeks. You can catch up on past letters here.)

Dear Claire--
Well, I'm consolidating two months into this update: your 16 and 17 month updates. Time got away from me, but, as you'll see, it was spent having a lot of fun!



Over the past two months (June and July), you:

- Have added to your speaking arsenal: "Oh boy!" "Hat" and (much to your GP's delight) "GI Joe." When it comes time to eat something, you also like to say, "Mmmm!" and after drinking, sometimes you'll go, "Aaah!"
- Love to dance. Sometimes if we ask you to dance, you'll start slowly spinning in a circle, like a little ballerina! And one morning, you were sleeping and heard your daddy's alarm go off. It's a song, and you usually will dance to it. But this morning, you were still sleeping but still managed to put your fist in the air and do a couple fist-pumps along to the music before drifting back to sleep! You have also started nodding your head along to the beat. Thanks to your love of music, we finally found a video that will keep you occupied (usually when it comes time to make dinner in the evenings), and that's sing-along videos from Baby Genius. When you see us load up Netflix, you get really excited and start pumping your hand in anticipation because you know what's coming next!
- Went on your first family vacation. We went to Breckenridge, Colorado and made a little day trip to Vail. You stayed on East-Coast time, which meant we were up every day around 5 or 6am, but that gave us time to tip-toe out of the suite we were sharing with family and go explore the town at sunrise. We found some cute coffeeshops and a couple of playgrounds that you enjoyed running free in.

- Enjoyed your first encounters splashing and playing in the pool in our neighborhood as well as the resort pool on vacation. Sometimes you are timid about it and other times you love getting to splash. (Especially when Daddy took you down the water slide on vacation!)
- Love push toys as well as toys that other people will push you around in!
- Blowing bubbles!
- Have started taking to carrying purses or bags around with you wherever you go. You have a couple that are your favorites, including a brightly colored garden-tool-holder bag, an adorable little floral-print chain purse I held onto for years in hopes of someday having a girl, and a little vinyl pink pouch that has a carabiner on the end.
- Are still fascinated by people watching and love engaging with people anywhere we go. You love saying hi and I love watching how a small little girl can light up a stranger's day with a simple smile and acknowledgement. To an introvert, it's so impressive and admirable.
- Are getting adept at helping mommy when she asks you to "Clean up your mess!" (Because you are forever making little messes!) You don't seem to mind though, and sometimes enjoy the clean-up just as much as making the mess! You still love to throw things away (I fished out a handful of felt toys from the trash this morning).
- Recently took up coloring with crayons and splashing in the kitchen sink in the morning.

- Graduated into size 4 diapers, which gave us the chance to try out Walgreens' exclusive baby-care brand Well Beginnings brand for the times when we need disposables. They've proven tto be pretty soft and quite absorbent. We haven't had a single leak with them and no diaper rash, thanks to the fact that the inner liner features natural botanicals, vitamin E, and aloe to soothe your baby’s bottom. We've also enjoyed their sensitive wipes (moisturizing and clean up messes well with few wipes needed) and baby bodywash that is tear-free, soap-free, dye-free, paraben-free and hypoallergenic (making it milder than baby soap) and smells nice and fresh! We haven't had any need for the electrolyte drink, but it's great to already have on hand when the need arises. (Thanks to Walgreens and Mom's Meet for the opportunity to add these essentials to our baby-care arsenal!*)

All in all, it's been quite the summer for you, and with the leaves starting to change already, I'm looking forward to all the changes this next season will bring for us, too!

Love,
Mom

* I received this product for free from the sponsor of the Moms MeetSM program, May Media Group LLC, who received it directly from the manufacturer. As a Moms MeetsSM blogger, I agreed to use this product and post my opinon on my blog. My opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions of May Media Group LLC or the manufacturer of the product.

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Riding in Style: Getting Around the Neighborhood in the Zuzu Stroller

I participated in an Influencer Activation on behalf of Mom Central for GB. I received a gift card to purchase a GB stroller to both facilitate my review as well as thank me for my participation.

I've mentioned before Claire's love for being outside. Multiple times a day, she grabs our hand and pulls us to one of the doors to go out and play. And recently, shes started pulling us to her stroller to let us know she'd like to go for a nice long walk.

That's one of the things I love about our new neighborhood. it has lots of walking trails that weave in and out of woods, greenspaces, playgrounds and even around a lake. It's a nature lovers dream come true!

 

That is, so long as you have a stroller that can withstand all those outings! That is why I was excited to get to review the new GB Zuzu stroller, available exclusively through Babies R Us.

It's a lightweight travel stroller that includes a lot of features normally only available on a more full-size model—making for the best of both worlds.

After putting it together, Claire was eager to hop in and go for a test run (well, walk) with it. Immediately I was impressed by how soft and comfortable the handles were. Our sidewalks can be really uneven, which was problematic for our old stroller, which couldn't even make it over the bumps without you stopping to lift it. This stroller however took the bumps like a champ. It made them almost imperceptible, and I didn't have to stop once. Also, it is very light weight so it's easy to push for long distances, which I appreciate for how often Claire wants to go on walks, sometimes!

 

As for her, Claire seemed quite comfortable riding in the stroller although she did un-Velcro the strap cushions and pull them off about halfway through. I liked that I could check on her by unzipping the canopy and peeking through the mesh to see how she's doing. It does have a nice size basket beneath where you can stow any belongings or toys. However, there is no tray for mom or child to put things like keys or beverages, which I enjoyed on our other stroller.

Finally, it folds up into a surprisingly compact size to make for easy travel or storing. It's not quite a one-handed operation (at least not for me yet, after having only used it for about a week), but the stroller is small enough as it is that I don't foresee having to compact it down all too often for that to be an issue. It fits fine in the trunk of our car when laid down on its side. Additionally, while this does not affect me, I was impressed that it also is compatible with select Graco® and Chicco® Infant Car Seats.

If you ask me, it's a pretty well-rounded stroller. Although it lacks a couple of features of more full-size strollers, you get that in exchange for a really lightweight and compact-able item that I personally think is worth the difference. I anticipate lots of long walks in my future!

And if you'd like a snapshot critique, here are my thoughts, in bullet-form:

Pros of the Zuzu Stroller

• Handles are really comfortable
• Stroller is lightweight, making for easy pushing for mama!
• provides a smooth ride; our sidewalks can be quite uneven and it took the bumps without a hiccup
• Large canopy to keep the sun out of child's eyes, but also features a zip away window in the top of the hood so that you can still see your child
• Good-sized basket underneath
• Folds down into compact size easily
• Can customize the recline and leg-rest angles to fit your child's size and needs
• Gender-neutral color and silky soft cushioning

Cons of the Zuzu Stroller

• Does not feature any kind of beverage holder
• Does not feature tray for child

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Dear Claire: 15 Month Update (and a Look Back at a Year Ago)

(I've been writing monthly updates to my daughter, Claire, documenting all the changes that come with the passing weeks. You can catch up on past letters here.)

Dear Claire,

You keep on growing, growing, growing! We had your 15 month appointment, and you weighed in at 19.5 lbs and 30 inches. And, I recently just had to get you new shoes in size 5!

I got you dressed the other day and realized it was nearly the same outfit you'd worn a year ago when I did one of your first real photoshoots, back when you were only three months old, that we had done on our old house's back deck. So I went on and captured the moment, taking you out on our new deck to document the differences a year can make. See for yourself:

CLAIRE AT THREE MONTHS OLD

CLAIRE A YEAR LATER, AT FIFTEEN MONTHS

and for fun, because it was too adorable:

Speaking of the new house, we've been here full-time for a couple of weeks, and I don't think the transition has phased you much (except that it still isn't quite as dark in your bedroom as the basement was during naptime). So far, you seem to love it. Especially the outside. We have told you that you can only play outside if you have shoes on, so you say, "Shoe, shoe" when you want O-U-T. (We've had to start spelling it!)

Your Mimi bought you a new swing for the swingset, which you love to play on, as well as have people take you down the swingset's slide. You also discovered the surprise strawberry patch that popped up on the side of the yard and (on your own accord) picked off the only two red strawberries to eat. Between you and the birds/bunnies, the vines are now clean!

Otherwise we've just been settling in here, which you've been keen to play a part in, yourself. You are big into "helping" right now. You love to make a mess and when I tell you it's time to pick things up, you eagerly help. Sometimes, though, you take it a bit too far and pick things up when they shouldn't. For instance, you really like throwing things away--shoes, cell phones, Tupperware. I am on the lookout for a new trashcan whose lid you can't so easily lift. You also love flipping the light switches when we go into or out of a room.

Also, you've started to make some friends in the neighborhood. All around us are little kids (boys, mostly) within a year of your age. Across the street is a boy who's only a day younger than you! We've only hung out with them once or twice for a homemade music class, but I imagine that over the next few years, you all will get to know one another quite well!

Here are some more notes I made over the past month of changes you've shown:

• You know where your belly button is (a trick Daddy taught you!) and if you see a picture of him, you can say "Da." (If I point to a picture of myself, you just stare at me blankly, though!)
• You love to say uh-oh and then drop things.
• Your Mimi loves to sing a nursery rhyme to you about a blackbird snipping off your nose and as soon as she starts to sing it, you pinch your nose because you know that's coming at the end!
• You can make monkey and seal pup sounds (which you learned from one of your animal-sounds books).
• You love to try to make people laugh and you discover something that makes us laugh, you will keep doing it over and over again.
• You love to empty drawers!
• You can climb up and down stairs pretty smoothly, so we haven't even bothered to try to babyproof the stairs here. (We have however, babyproofed a couple of drawers, if you see the point above!)
• You love anything that is your-sized for sitting. I finally found you a little wooden chair at a thrift store that you sit in quite a bit!
• You also are getting into baby dolls and if I ask you, "Where's baby?" you run off to find the one your Grandma got you for Easter!
• Your hair is long enough for a ponytail although your bangs are still growing out and get in your eyes.
• Foods you've liked over the past month include hummus, sloppy joe meat, raspberries and raisins. You go through phases with nearly everything, but your morning oatmeal is a staple.
• You also went swimming for the first time! The neighborhood pool is just down the street, so we took you on opening day and you loved the baby pool. I can foresee quite a few afternoons spent there this summer!

So, as you can see, it's been a big month! I love watching your personality blossom and your insight and intellect grow. Here's to another month and a summer full of fun!

Love,
Mom

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The Gift of Taking Time to Get Outside and Play

Some of my most treasured memories are those that involve getting dirty, getting wet and getting intimate with the outdoors as a child.

I can still remember summer days spent splashing in a creek while my dad fished crawdads out from the murky, twig-strewn water and let me see the creatures up close and personal. I can remember my parents taking me by the hand and spending hours walking the paths that encircled a lake near my childhood home, stopping to feed the geese and marveling at all the leaves and greenery around.
I can remember my father finding animal tracks made in the mud around our garage and pointing out whether it was a raccoon or a skunk. I can remember digging through piles of gravel in our side yard, on the quest for uncovering fossils that I kept safe in an old tackle box my father handed over to me when he spotted in me a budding archeologist.

These memories were simple gestures that my parents fostered in me during my earliest of years. They were nothing extravagant, and yet they meant the world to me, and still do. Those days spent losing time in the outdoors gave me an appreciation for the world around me that can’t be found just by seeing pictures of the natural wonders on a computer screen or watching a documentary on the television.

No, the soil that sifted through my fingertips and the treasures I discovered with my own hands brought this world of wonder to life for me in a way that still shines bright for me today: With my windows thrown open, I listen to the crickets and the cardinals chirping outside, a melody that Mother Nature orchestrates daily. When I’m feeling stressed, I lace up my sneakers and take a stroll through a leafy part of my neighborhood, where the sights and sounds are a balm to my soul. When I want to truly connect with someone, whether it’s my spouse or a friend from years past, I invite them to take a walk or a picnic on an open, grassy plain where words can flow just as the wind blows ‘round.

All this stems from those early days lost in nature’s reverie, a gift that my parents gave to me as a young girl as they encouraged me to get outside and get lost in the beauty of this world. It’s that same gift that I hope to pass along to Claire, starting even now, as I take her outside to let her play (sometimes multiple times a day) and let her discover and adventure and dream in the great outdoors.

{ photo source }

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Dear Claire: 13-Month Update

(I've been writing monthly updates to my daughter, Claire, documenting all the changes that come with the passing weeks. You can catch up on past letters here.) 

Dear Claire,

Here are the latest updates in this budding little life of yours over the past month:

• You have started blowing kisses, especially when you see daddy.
• You can wave “hi” and “bye.”
• One of your favorite games is to go up to a photograph and say, “Who is that?” You especially love Grandma’s gallery wall where you point at pictures of yourself and your uncle and ask that over and over.
• You also love to ask, “What is that?” when you see something you’re interested in.
• When you see something you like, you often will say, “It’s a ball!” (Everything is a ball.)
• Your appetite has slowed and you’ve rejected a lot of the foods you formerly loved, so I’ve been trying to experiment with new ones to keep you eating enough solid foods. Lately, you’ve been enjoying oatmeal, peanut butter, hummus, almond milk. And you still love rice cereal, chips/crackers/pretzels, and bananas, so long as we let you feed them to yourself.
• You still nurse a handful of times a day, and I love those moments with you.
• A favorite little game you like to play is walk up to someone and start running in place, in hopes that we’ll do it back to you. Then, you start back up and we do it simultaneously. You love this!
• You went to your first baseball game of the season and loved all the action!
• Also, the weather has turned nice and so you’ve been playing outside when it’s warm enough (it has been unseasonably cold this spring!) and have loved getting to walk around in the grass, discover rocks, pull up leaves, and otherwise get to adventure!
• If we ask you for a kiss, you’ll lean your head in toward us so we can kiss you. It’s so adorable!
• You are now up to 8 teeth: 4 on top, 4 on bottom. The last two came in at the same time this past month, but you bore it like a champ. I think you’re teething right now, because you have been drooling a lot lately, but you never let me look in your mouth so I usually don’t realize you’ve broken anything until it’s well through.
• For the past month or so, you’ve been taking one long nap around lunchtime, usually for 2 to 3 hours. Nighttime you usually go to bed around 9 or 10. If you accidentally fall asleep in the car, that throws everything off, but we have learned to roll with the punches around here, so I don’t mind. We can always get back to the swing of things tomorrow!
• Much to my joy, you are starting to get a little more interested in books, finding them and opening them up and looking at their pictures. You’ll sit still long enough for us to read a couple of pages before you take it away and insist on playing with it on your own. We still don’t really read on a daily basis but I’ve been trying to incorporate it more.
• You still love to dance and clap and anything music-related. We may not read daily, but we sure do make time to dance and sing multiple times a day!
• You also are our little opportunist who gets into all sorts of things that you know you’re not supposed to. It’s like you have radar, when a certain door opens that we otherwise keep locked or closed. You make a beeline to try to get in before it closes and see what damage you can do. If we aren’t careful there will be grocery items or Q-Tips or office papers strewn all over the floor in just a matter of minutes!
• Your hair just keeps getting longer and longer—and, consequently, crazier and crazier. If I stretch it out in the back, it can reach down your back a couple of inches (but typically curls up to look like a bob), and your bangs are past your nose. I try to keep your bangs pulled back, but you pull your barrettes out so more often than not, you’re peering out at the world through a fringe of bangs!
• You love your family and squeal with joy when you see one of us return after being gone for awhile. It is utter joy that makes us feel so loved. On the flip side, you still hate when we leave you. Consequently, I’m still hanging out with you in the nursery at church during the service!
• You’ll walk along beside us, holding a finger. If I hold it out, you’ll come running up and grab it to walk with me. If I ask you to come, oftentimes (but not always!) you’ll come.

Love,
Mom

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Celebrating My First Year as a Mom & A Look Back at How It Changed Me

Now that I’ve crossed the threshold of my first year of motherhood, I can look back on it and see the beauty of it. There was plenty of hardship, as I’ve shared countless times through the course of this past year. But becoming a mom has brought so many changes. Not just to my sleep cycle or the fact that being peed on doesn’t gross me out in the slightest. It has changed me....

Now that I’ve crossed the threshold of my first year of motherhood, I can look back on it and see the beauty of it. There was plenty of hardship, as I’ve shared countless times through the course of this past year. But becoming a mom has brought so many changes. Not just to my sleep cycle or the fact that being peed on doesn’t gross me out in the slightest.

It has changed me.

There have been so many times when I don’t want to do things for Claire. When I don’t want to change another diaper or stop what I’m doing so I can pick her up and comfort her. When I don’t want to hold my frustration in and respond with a smile instead of a scream.

But I know that my actions matter. In a way that they never have before. My love matters. I know that I have the choice with how I respond to her and what those responses can add up to. There is power in how I treat her and how I love her.

And I have seen it shape this crazy little baby who started out crying all the time into a toddler now who is filled with joy. I like to think that I have helped give her that joy. That my selflessness—even when it was forced out through gritted teeth—has made a difference.

Certainly, I make mistakes in my mothering, and I would never claim anything near perfection. But I know I have tried hard and I can say I’m proud of the mom I’ve become, proud of the woman that being Claire’s mom has made me. Her pitiful, soul-shattering cries have taught me patience. Her unwillingness to sleep except curled up in my arms has helped me become flexible and learn to let the tasks and expectations of the day slip to the ground. Her stubbornness has taught me to laugh instead of stew.

Through it all, I’m learning to melt myself into this role of being a mom, a role that is shaving off the prickly parts of my heart and creating in me a version of myself richer and deeper than I’d thought possible. And we’re only a year in. I can’t wait to see what the next couple of decades have in store!

In celebration of how becoming a parent can make you a better person, BlogHer has teamed up with the Dreamworks' movie, Delivery Man. In it, David (Vince Vaughn) finds out that he’s a dad and goes on a hilarious and heartwarming journey to find his long-lost children—and his true self. The movie comes out on Blu-ray, DVD and Digital HD on March 25, which you can pre-order here. (Watch the movie’s trailer or visit the Delivery Man Facebook page to learn more about the movie.)

Plus, BlogHer is offering up a $100 Visa gift card to one Life Blessons reader who comments, letting me know: “How have your kids changed you for the better?”

Sweepstakes Rules: No duplicate comments. You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods: Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post Tweet (public message) about this promotion; including exactly the following unique term in your tweet message: “#SweepstakesEntry”; and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post Blog about this promotion, including a disclosure that you are receiving a sweepstakes entry in exchange for writing the blog post, and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry. This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winner will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected. The Official Rules are available here. This sweepstakes runs from 3/20/14 – 4/17/14. Be sure to visit the Delivery Man page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win! 

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What I Look For in a High Chair (And One that Fits the Bill)

Claire has been eating solid foods for the past six months. Over that time, I’ve had quite the crash course in high chairs, from ones that are expensive to those generic ones in restaurants to makeshift ones (we used the Bumbo seat for a lot of feedings when we first started out) and everything in between.

I’ve been on the search for the perfect high chair for my lifestyle, which is how I came across the Ingenuity ChairMate High Chair.



One of the things I’ve learned during this time testing and trying out different versions and attributes is that there are a couple things that are key to me:

• I want my high chair to take up as little space as possible but be easily portable
• It must have a washable surface that can easily be machine-washed (because Claire often loves to feed herself—which invariably makes for a huge mess that not only includes her face and hands but every other surface within reach)
• I want it to feel safe and sturdy for my baby so that if I need to step away and grab something from the fridge, I can do so without worry that my darling is going to be in danger

All of these qualities come together in the ChairMate, which the folks at Ingenuity generously provided for this review. (Of course, as always, all opinions are my own.) Here is a run-down of some of those features this high chair offers:

• The cover is easy to get on and off and features stain-resistant material that can easily be machine-washed. But my favorite feature is that there is a clip-on tray that you can easily pop off and rinse without having to unfasten the entire tray. It makes running it under the kitchen faucet a breeze! (It also is dishwasher-safe, but I haven’t tried that.)
  
  
• It’s lightweight, making it so that you can easily move it around. And since it’s fastened to the chair easily with straps, it isn’t a chore to unbuckle it and move it if you need to, making it a viable option for on-the-go if you need it.
  
  
• The high chair attaches directly to one of your own kitchen chairs. I tried it on a variety of chairs and never faced an issue. Pretty much as long as you can fasten the straps along the underside of the chair and around it’s back, you can use this high chair.
  
  
• It was easy to put together. (I didn’t even have to reference the instruction manual it was so intuitive!) It also includes four different height positions so that it can easily accommodate almost any table or chair height. There are also two recline positions. (I do wish there was more customization for the recline position, because Claire still seems to sit back a bit further than she does in her other chairs, but that hasn’t seemed to cause a problem.)
  
  
• Plus, it easily grows with baby by converting to a booster once they get older so that you don't have to buy something additional later one. This is an aspect that is taken into account with all of the products from Ingenuity: “When we can, we strive to save you money,” they say, “such as high chairs and floor seats that grow with baby by converting to boosters, and swings with patented technology that makes batteries last twice as long. Every product Ingenuity offers starts with one question: How can these meet babies’ needs, but make life easier for parents?”
  
  
• While I was a little hesitant about using straps to secure the high chair at first, I haven’t had any issues with the stability or sturdiness of the chair. I’ve even picked Claire up while she’s strapped in and moved the chair (like for the photoshoot I did!) and the seat didn’t even seem to wiggle in the chair. I think as long as you’re strapping it to a sturdy chair and make sure you get the straps at tight as possible (which surprisingly is quite easy), then I don’t think there are any issues with safety.
  
  
• The ChairMate high chair comes in a variety of designs, but the one I received is the “Emerson,” which is available exclusively at Babies ‘R’ Us. The Emerson features an adorable and gender-neutral teal and green polka-dot pattern with two smiley-faced hippos in the middle. Perfect for any baby who makes you feel like you’re feeding a hungry, hungry hippo!

All that to say, that this high chair has been a happy addition to our feeding routine and I expect it will continue to be for the years to come!



(You can find out more about the Ingenuity ChairMate High Chair, as well as other products from Ingenuity. You can also find them on Facebook and Twitter.)

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Dear Claire: You're One Year Old!

(I've been writing monthly updates to my daughter, Claire, documenting all the changes that come with the passing weeks. You can catch up on past letters here.) 

Dear Claire,

First, let's start out with some of the main updates from this past month:

• At your one-year appointment you: weighed 18.2 lbs (10th percentile) and were 29.25 inches long (50th percentile).
• You can now run, so we took you to get big-girl shoes for your birthday (size 4W!). Now we can hear that pitter-patter coming from across the room!
• Somehow, your sixth tooth came in this month and I had no clue. It was on the bottom so it wasn't until I looked down yesterday and counted three pearly whites sticking through that I realized it! Whoops!
• You like to shake your head "no," although I don't think you know what it means and aren't trying to be defiant. You just think it's funny!
• You like to stick out your tongue and let it hang to the side of your mouth. It's pretty goofy, but then that's one of the things I love best about you! 
• You have a little sneaky streak! You know we don't like for you to have the remote so sometimes you'll watch us when we're looking away and stealthily go for it, ever so slowly so as to avoid detection.
• You can wave "hi" and "bye" back if we wave to you.
• You are big into imitating in general. We discovered that if we stick our tongue in and out quickly, you'll mimic and do the same! It's a silly little party trick we like.
• You love to drink water and your daddy has worked with you to say "ahh" after taking a drink. It's pretty adorable! You are learning how to use a zippy cup. You really love one of your grandma's water bottles and have aptly learned how to drink out of it by sucking up the straw.
• Your daddy taught you another new trick: You love it when we whisper secrets ("Psst, psst, psst,") in your ear and often squeal with delight! 

What a big girl you are becoming, learning all kinds of new tricks in leaps and bounds, right?!

For your birthday, we took you to a cupcake shop where you were ecstatic about smooshing cake and icing through your fingers! You didn't really eat much of it, but enjoyed the chance to be as messy as you liked! You had fun ripping open your presents and playing with your new clothes and toys, especially your LOUD corn popper and birthday cards that sing when you open them! I know you won't remember it, but it was fun—which life with you always is!

This past year has turned out to be a joy for me to be your mommy. I'm so proud of the wonderfully joyful, spunky and social, curious and creative little girl you're becoming. I love watching your mind at work and am always surprised by what captures your attention. You're always off exploring and getting into anything and everything! I can't wait to see where you are going to channel that energy and curiosity as you get older.

Here's to another year, as my little love bug and Claire Bear!

Love,
Mom

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God's Grace Flourishes in Our Vulnerability

As any mom—and I’d even wager any babysitter—knows, taking care of a baby isn’t for the faint of heart. It is rough and tough business that hit me like a ton of bricks when I had my first baby. I had no idea a person as small as she could sleep so little and still manage to cry as much as she did. At times, I even joined in with my daughter in her crying spells when nothing else was working.

Those early weeks were nothing less than brutal, leaving me weak, weary and brittle, on edge of breaking.

When my daughter was two-months-old, our church threw a baby shower for the latest round of new or soon-to-be-expecting moms in the congregation. I was among them and toward the end of the luncheon, each of us were supposed to share how our journey was going, whether it was pregnancy or parenthood, and some prayer requests.

Early on, I’d committed myself to try not to complain about my daughter. I wanted to be honest about how hard things were going but I didn’t want to whine about it or make her out to be a foe. So when it came to my turn, I started off positively enough and asked for prayer for me to submit myself to this process of parenthood and learning self-sacrifice, which is what I felt the Lord was urging from me at the time.

And as I asked for that simple prayer, I couldn’t help it but the tears came. They came, they poured. Even though I’d spent plenty of time crying on my own at home, I hadn’t cried in public before. So when the chance came, the tears flowed and I couldn’t stop them until I shared the truth.

With them streaming down my cheeks, I couldn’t deny how very hard things were as a new mom. Raw with honesty, I shared through those tears how hard it was being a new mom. And through those tears, I began to see God work.

When I was done, other moms in the room came up to me, tears in their own eyes and told me they knew exactly how I felt. Other women who were pregnant with their first told me that they appreciated my honesty because it provided them a much-needed reality check that things might not be all as the commercials portray with a newborn.

But the biggest blessing that came from those tears became evident when I went home. Because once I admitted my hardship in the midst of so many other women and asked, so sincerely, so desperately for prayers, things actually started getting better: My daughter started to fight her sleep less, even going to sleep on her own. She began crying less. It was nothing short of a miracle.

It’s something I’ve seen over and over again in my life: God’s grace flourishes in our vulnerability. When I’m willing to let my guard down and admit my weakness, admit my need, admit my struggles before my fellow man, it is then that I oftentimes see God at work the most. Like James 5:16 says, I think there’s power in confession, whether it’s confessing your sins like that verse says or even confessing the truth about our circumstances and our needs, like I did that afternoon in the chapel of our church when I let the tears fall before a couple dozen women.

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." John 12:24

This article first appeared on iBelieve on July 26, 2013.

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Dear Claire: 11 Month Update

(I've been writing monthly updates to my daughter, Claire, documenting all the changes that come with the passing weeks. You can catch up on past letters here.)

Dear Claire,
You are now just one month shy of a year. Can you believe it's been that long already? Can you believe we've made it this far? By the time you're reading this, 11 months will seem like barely a drop in the bucket. But it feels like so much right now. So much, in a good way.

You got sick for the first time this month. (Well, you’d gotten pink eye around six months, but it was mild and we caught it quickly so it never bothered you.) This time, though, you were miserable. Your nose was runny and it turned into an ear ache that had you wailing “Ow!” and “Oh!” and what I swear sounded like, “Help!” We took you to the doctor as soon as we saw you tug on your right ear, but it was too late. Even with antibiotics (azithromycin), you were still in great pain for the next two days anytime the ibuprofen would wear off. 

And to top it off, you were so congested you couldn’t breathe through your nose so you snored when you slept (causing your dad to dub you Darth Baby) and you gasped when you tried to nurse. (Consequently, you gave up sucking your thumb and haven't gone back since, something I am relieved about because I dreaded having to break you of it.) It was pitiful and I felt so sorry for you. But fortunately, on day three the pain subsided and on day four you could breathe through your nose again. I'm just thankful we were able to make it ten months until you really got sick!

Otherwise, another big achievement this month was that I realized your hair can be pulled back into pigtails! I love pulling it back. Of course, you love pulling the hair bands out, so they don't ever last very long, but I have captured a few photographs of the moment.

Right now you are in love with music. You now bounce when you hear a tune. Sometimes you'll tap a foot or clap your hands. You have an electronic drumstick that plays a rhythm that you can tap to, and you love the melody. You also have maracas and shakers and jingle bells and empty tin- and cardboard-canisters that double as drums. You love picking these up and playing with them; they bring a huge smile to your face when you discover them in the midst of your playtime.

You've got your daddy's love of playing music. (You've also discovered his guitar, hidden behind his desk that you make it a point to crawl around the chair and trashcan to play with the strings. Ain't nothing going to stand in your way of playing music, huh?) And you've got your mommy's love for dancing to music. We've recently started doing dance parties where we find some good music to play in the background while we sing and twirl along.

And this past week at church, we took you into service with us during the worship time, and you sat enrapt while the band played and everyone sang along. (Of course, as soon as they started praying, you decided the quiet was too much and started shouting and "talking" to make up for it. We then took you to the nursery, where I've been having to hang out with you, because you still don't like being left without one of us with you. I don't mind though; it's given me a chance to get to know some of the other women who are serving in the nursery better than I would have otherwise. That's one thing I hope you'll learn: There's always a silver lining. Always. Make it a point to look for it.)

So this newfound love of yours has been fun and I've been looking for ways to enrich and encourage it. I'm looking into music classes for you, because heaven knows you don't really need any more toys or clothes, and with your birthday coming up, I thought that might be more useful than more "stuff" for you. But we'll see. By the way, I'm sure your wishlist would include things like: a new cellphone/remote control that actually works and lights up (rather than the ones with batteries removed that you like to give me); a toilet paper roll I can tear apart as much as I please (and eat to my delight); a trashcan (full of trash, of course) I can explore, etc.

At any rate, we're getting closer and closer to that milestone, and it's been so much fun. I hope you're having fun, too.

Love,
Mom

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Letting Go the Grip of Comparison in Motherhood and Discovering Grace

I wrote about the epiphany I had about the bitterness my heart had been harboring toward the suffering I’d experienced when Claire was a newborn and the jealousy I had toward women who were blessed with “easy” babies who slept and didn’t cry and were happy from the get-go. I wrote about how, upon realizing this place of bitterness seeded in my heart, I knew I could only do one thing with it: I needed to confess it. And upon doing so, I wrote about how the Lord proved himself faithful in that room as we each poured out confessions about the ugly parts in our hearts.

On the drive home afterward, I thought about this tendency of ours to compare ourselves to one another. Because we do it when we feel others have it better than us. But we also do it when we feel others have it worse than us. Sometimes we can justify the latter because it is supposed to make us feel grateful—that things could be worse for us. And surely they could. But, as I rounded the bend onto the highway, I realized I don’t even want to do that.

I realized I needed to release this urge to compare completely, because when I did it, it was always in a way that always ended up looking back upon myself: I would look at others’ good and see my own hardship. I would look at others’ hardship, and see my own good. Instead of it being about others or God, it was always about me. And that’s where the bitterness crept in, that’s where things turned ugly.

As I increased speed, I thought back to the stories we have of Satan, the one who takes truths and twists them. And I realize that is what he has been doing to me. These stories of people who have easy children should be source for me to celebrate, to see God's goodness and be encouraged. Even though I did not experience that for myself does not mean it is any less good. I must untwist that lie that makes me think that their experience is an attack on me and straighten it to see the beauty in it. Because if we untwist it, we can always see the goodness that lies beneath. Because in this world, God is always doing good. We must just sometimes have to work harder to find and see that.

The truth is that when others have gone through good, I want to rejoice with them. There is freedom in rejoicing with them. I want to look at those stories and--instead of seeing my own lack, my own I-wish-that-would-have-been-mine story--I want to see the joy of it, the hope.

When I hear someone say, "My child sleeps half the day away, without any effort on my part," I want to say, "Wow, what a miracle! God is good! He can do great things!" Because since that was not my reality, that truly is a miracle in my eyes.

As I realized those things, I felt God straightening things in my heart, untwisting the lies I’d been believing, the tangled lies where bitterness and jealousy lay. Joy, real joy, began to creep into my heart. I thought of the women I know whom I'd previously harbored jealousy for in regards to the way their newborn experiences were. I thought of them and, for the first time, I felt a sense of peace. I felt freedom from comparing myself to them. I could smile for them and say, "Wow, what a miracle. God is good."

I drove the rest of the way home and my heart felt light but full. It felt free.

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Hello, I’m a Mom and I’m Jealous of You

I’ve written a lot about what a struggle Claire’s infancy was for me, dealing with a baby who was constantly demanding with cries and forever fighting sleep. She never seemed happy and frankly, neither was I much of the time.

I’ve also written that the Lord has done a lot of healing since then in these past months. Things with her have gotten so much better. She is an incredible joy and she seems to be making up for all the happiness that seemed lacking at first. She practically bursts with joy! And it isn’t just that my circumstances have changed, though the relief that has come with that has been a balm to my soul. But I can even look back and be grateful for the hardship I went through during Claire's infancy and be proud of how the Lord sustained me, proud of how he saw fit to give me that struggle and knew I could withstand it. I can honestly say those things now. I mean them.

But recently, I realized that in spite of my ability to feel grateful, I was still harboring bitterness about all I’d gone through. I realized this when I heard other moms talk about how easy their children were, how they were sleeping through the night effortlessly or barely cried and were always content. My jaw would drop, unable to imagine those scenarios. And then a bitterness, a jealousy would well up within me.

Because it felt wholly unfair that they would not have to suffer as I suffered. Wasn’t that part of the newborn experience? Wasn’t that the kind of initiation every mother should have to go through—at least to some degree? I would never wish my experience on anyone else, but come on—just a little?

Misery loves company, and I am sad to say that it was true even for me. I did not want to be alone in my suffering, even though it is now fully in the past. I resented that others were allowed to skip over that. To try to pacify myself, I’d whisper, “Well, someday they’ll suffer. When the child is a toddler or a teenager, then they’ll know hard times. Someday they’ll suffer like I did.”

I realized this, and I knew that I needed to repent of it. Though I’d been feeling these things for months, I hadn’t yet named them, I hadn’t realized that they came from a place of bitterness and jealousy. “Confess your sins and pray for one another and you will be healed,” the book of James says. I truly believe that, and so at that moment, I resolved to confess them at my weekly Bible study.

So a few days later, when the time came, I was at our Bible study. The teacher was wrapping up her lesson just before we broke into our small groups and she finished the lesson by talking about the importance of confession. With that, I knew it was God confirming that he wanted me to do this. He pressed onto my heart that I should make my confession first thing, rather than waiting until the end when we go around and do prayer requests.

When I walked into our small-group room, there was a new face in there. She was a woman I’d met before but who didn’t yet know my heart in the same way all the other women in my group did. I hesitated. But then I remembered another verse: “If you love me, obey me.”

So when the leader nonchalantly asked me how my week had been, I opened up and told them I needed to make a confession before them all, in hopes that God would be faithful to his scriptures and bring healing to this place in my heart. Then, the words spilled out and I confessed this ugly place in my heart.

When I was done, everyone else opened up in confession about the ugly things that were going on—right now, this moment—in their lives that they knew needed confession as well. And you know what? They were all about jealousy, about looking at other people’s circumstances and feeling slighted because theirs were better than their own.

It was proof that God had orchestrated all of this. Beautiful, peace-giving, lovely proof. And so I had to trust that what he had begun, he would finish. That he would bring this healing he had promised in His word. I knew the confession was something he wanted of me, and so I had to trust the healing would come. For me, for each of us. And we each left there feeling a little more free, a little closer to each other and a little closer to Him.

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