A Prayer for Love

"Show me your unfailing love in wonderful ways," David wrote in Psalm 17.

I stopped when I read that the other day. Because while I know God loves me and I've been overwhelmed by it at various times, when things are ordinary and simple and simply fine, it can be difficult to really understand, much less accept and appreciate, the immensity of God's love for me.

I find myself praying, over and over again, "God teach me how to love you more, how to love you better."

And that's part of it, but there's more to the equation than just me learning how to love him. There's another part: Simply letting him love me.

I don't know how to do that other than to ask him to do it, by repeating this verse from the Psalms and asking God to make his love for me not just some head knowledge but something real.

This is part of the premise of Joanna Weaver's latest book Lazarus Awakening, which she illustrates through the story of Lazarus' death and how Jesus raised him from the dead.

The part of the book that really provided the most practical application regarding learning to live in God's love was from an example Weaver provided of two friends: "When she'd asked Joan how she finally became convinced of God's love, Ann had expected a dramatic story—something about how God had spared her friend from tragedy or brought her through a dark time. Instead, Joan described a simple decision to 'set aside one month in which to act as though God loved her.' All that month 'whenever she was tempted to doubt his love, she simply shifted her thoughts and then put the full force of her mind behind believing that God loved her. And that settled it for her—for good.'" (page 94)

It reminds me of the father who so eloquently and desperately said it best: "I believe, help my disbelief!" We believe, and yet we still have to continue asking God to help us remove those bits of doubt that keep us from fully living in the truth.

So for now, I keep whispering, "Show me your unfailing love in wonderful ways. Show me your unfailing love in wonderful ways. Show me your unfailing love in wonderful ways..."

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An Unexpected Mid-Week Getaway

I'm a sucker for traveling. Above all else, I love to get out and wander around, exploring new places, discovering new sites and finding the beauty that is buried in each and every place. It's why, when Michael asked what I wanted for my birthday, I told him that all I wanted to do was go camping. Of course, then he went above and beyond and took us on our fun, romantic trip to Savannah!

But as the weather has been warming and the sky staying a steady blue, the jetsetter in me starts getting antsy, daydreaming about unexplored streets and cityscapes. It was only a week ago that I said to Michael, I wish we could go on another vacation again. (Not a grateful little wife-y am I, when we're supposed to be watching our budget, and here I'm yearning for another trip?!) This is even in spite of the knowledge that next month, my parents are going to Gatlinburg and we're going to head up and stay with them for a few days. And then later this summer we‘ll be heading up to home-sweet-home Ohio. Obviously, when it comes to travels and new places, patience is not one of my greatest virtues!

How gracious was the Lord when, even though I should be happy with what I have and what's already awaiting, we get a surprise trip dropped in our lap? While we were at a meeting to discuss the formation of a newlywed group at our church, we were trying to figure out where to stage a retreat to kickoff the ministry to the rest of the church. That's when one of the leaders asked if we'd be willing to scout out a location, and we'd get our gas, food and hotel for the night covered. A mini getaway, smack-dab in the middle of the week.

We objected, saying we didn't need to stay the night, that we could come back early but he told us, "No. You need a night away." And with that I couldn't help but sit in awe of how kind God is to me, even in the littlest things like that, like a hotel stay for the night and the chance to troll a new town and drink in its sites and sounds.

Today, we’re headed to Chattanooga!

"The faithful love of the Lord  never ends! His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning."
Lamentations 3:22-23

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A God who treasures ordinary people, like me

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"Oddly, as I look back on Jesus' time from the present perspective, it is the very ordinariness of the disciples that gives me hope. Jesus does not seem to choose his followers on the basis of native talent or perfectibility or potential for greatness. When he lived on earth he surrounded himself with ordinary people who misunderstood him, failed to exercise much spiritual power, and sometimes behaved like churlish school children....I cannot avoid the impression that Jesus prefers working with unpromising recruits....From such a ragtag band Jesus founded a church that has not stopped growing in nineteen centuries."
- Philip Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew

I'm working my way through this book, and it was only minutes after reading this section that I received a phone call. It was from a girl I'd never met who just started coming to our church. I send out emails for one of our pastors to newcomers who fill out a visitor's card, so that's how she'd found my number. She was asking me about redemption and what does that mean? She'd had a dream where Jesus kept writing this word “redemption” over and over again, but, having had no real interaction with faith before this encounter, she didn't even know what the word meant. So, of all ill-equipped people, she came to me.

It was a humbling experience because through clumsy words and unprepared explanations, I tried to explain to her what redemption means and why Jesus would plead with her through her dreams to understand it, to pursue it, to pursue him. I hung up the phone and wondered, Did I even answer her question? Was it good enough? What if I messed up?

I prayed over our conversation that the Holy Spirit would use my words--however simple and mediocre--to speak to her heart whatever it is that she needs. And I realized the glory in that--that it's not me doing the work, but God, who in turns get the glory for anything that comes of it. And why he would choose to use me--an ordinary person without polished speaking skills or a battery of verses by heart (working on that one though, #7!)--to assist him in his work on this earth, even in the most insignificant matter? I do not deserve it and yet here we are, pulled along by his graciousness and mercy.

So please pray for her as she sorts through these questions that she's facing and as she's exploring who God is and what a life pursuing him promises. I keep praying in terms of the parable of the sower & seed from Luke 8: "Some seed fell on rock, and when it began to grow, it died because it had no water. Some seed fell among thorny weeds, but the weeds grew up with it and choked the good plants. And some seed fell on good ground and grew and made a hundred times more." That her faith will be watered and spared from the weeds that choke, but grow bountiful and with a harvest.

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Getting a Pep Talk from God

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The other day, I was reading about Abraham, back when he was just "Abram." God had already told him once all about the promised land and that he'd get to finally have a child to carry on his name. Abram believes God and leaves the land he's known and sets out to where God will show him. As he's traveling, he runs into a few bumps along the way: Almost loses his wife in Egypt and then has to split off from his nephew because there's not enough land for them both to settle on.

It's here that I noticed something: God came back again and encouraged Abram, telling him again that he's going to be blessed with more land and more descendants than he can fathom. The thing is, God already told him this once--and because it's the God of the Universe making this promise, once ought to be enough. But usually, because we're prone to fear and anxiety and uncertainty, we often need an extra push to keep us going, to keep us fighting for the goal ahead.

And I've seen it in my own life that God gives me grace in this area. Though "once ought to be enough," he is kind and generous and full of grace and love to come back and encourage me once, twice, three times and on again, as I need it. It's like a tiny little pep talk that reawakens my heart to believe, "Yes, everything's going to be OK! Yes, it's going to all be redeemed! Yes, I trust and believe!"

Immediately the father cried out [to Jesus], "I do believe! Help me believe more!"
- Mark 9:24

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I'm a sucker for romance: Why I love reading the Old Testament prophets

 
One of my favorite sections of the Bible to read is the Old Testament prophets. That's because it's here that, verse after verse, the prophets declare God's love for his people. They share time and time again that God will restore them inspite of their disobedience and hardened hearts. Over and over again, God speaks up and promises us his heart, his love, his forgiveness, his redemption. I know that if I'm having a hard day or just want a good reminder for my heart, I can flip to these chapters (Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekial and the like) and not have to flip long before I rediscover these truths, beautiful sentiments like:

"The LORD your God is with you; the mighty One will save you. He will rejoice over you. You will rest in his love; he will sing and be joyful about you." (Zephaniah 3:17)


"...I will not forget you. See, I have written your name on my hand. Jerusalem, I always think about your walls." (Isaiah 49:15-16)

"Israel, how can I give you up? How can I give you away, Israel? .... My heart beats for you, and my love for you stirs up my pity." (Hosea 11:8)

One thing I especially love that you find in these books is that God showers these affections on his people most often when they've betrayed him, left him, turned their backs on him and brought destruction upon themselves. Even in those moments, he shares his deep devotion to them and his desire to restore them, heal them, lavish them:

"So, I [the Lord] am going to attract her [the people of Israel, who are worshiping other gods and idols]; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and I will make the Valley of Trouble a door of hope...." (Hosea 2:14-15)

"'I have seen what they have done, but I will heal them. I will guide them and comfort them and those who felt sad for them. They will all praise me. I will give peace, real peace, to those far and near, and I will heal them,' says the LORD." (Isaiah 57:18-19)

How beautiful are those words? And he still is whispering them to us, today.

1 John 3:1 says, "Consider this: The Father has given us his love. He loves us so much that we are actually called God's dear children. And that's what we are." We can rest assured that we too stir his heart, that our names are written on the palm of his hand.

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A lesson from the Garden of Eden: How God prepares for us

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In celebration of the new year, I went back to Genesis 1 to read: “In the beginning, God created…” I read through this chapter, noting the order he created things in and wondering about the significance, like how the birds and fish came before land animals.

Anyway, then God creates man and woman and gives them the command to live on this earth. “God said, ‘Look, I have given you all the plants that have grain for seeds and all the trees whose fruits have seeds in them. They will be food for you.” (Gen. 1:29)

As I read that, I noted the significance of the fact that, even before he created this man and this woman, God had already prepared their environment for them. They didn’t have to ask for food or even know a world without provision--it was ready for them as soon as they stepped onto the scene.

And I realized how that’s still God’s nature:  To go ahead of us, prepare the way for us, even before we ask or know what’s happening, he’s at work. What an encouraging reminder for me during this time, when my environment (at least job-wise) is rather bleak and hazy. I can trust that despite what my eyes may see, God is at work, prepping the landscape of my future that will get me through.

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