Seeking Wisdom While You Wait on Marriage

This is a post I shared a few months ago (while I was still pregnant!) in one of our monthly Women Praying Boldly emails. WPB is a group of women coming together to pray for those who are waiting on God to provide them with godly spouses. (You can read more about this initiative here.) I recently passed the torch along to two other ladies, Leeann and Jen, who are now overseeing the group. In celebration of the change in leadership, I wanted to share this post in hopes that it might encourage more of you to check out Women Praying Boldly, if you haven't already:

Happy is the person who finds wisdom and gains understanding. For the profit of wisdom is better than silver, and her wages are better than gold. Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. She offers you life in her right hand, and riches and honor in her left. She will guide you down delightful paths; all her ways are satisfying. - Proverbs 3:13-17

Lately, as I prepare for my role as a mother, I've been reading a lot about the need for wisdom in Proverbs. But I realized that that necessity for wisdom is no less important (perhaps even moreso) when it comes to the search for a godly husband. Because whom we tie our hearts to, whom we become one with is going to affect our lives in the most incredible of ways.

As a mother, I must remember that someday, my child is going to leave our little nest and grow and make her own life, likely becoming one with someone else—not with me and my husband. But as a wife, no matter what life brings or how old we get, I will always be tied to the covenant I made with my husband. There is no such covenant made between me and my child.

So entering into this marriage covenant must not be made lightly. Which is where the deep, sacred call for wisdom comes in.

As I read in the Proverbs, one of the things that encouraged my heart in this matter was the idea that wisdom (which comes from God, not books or education or anything else man-made) is yearning to be found. It is not hiding or elusive, running away and taunting us. Instead, God is calling out to us, desperate to be found and followed:

Proverbs explains: "Wisdom shouts in the streets.She cried out in the public square. She calls out to the crowds along the main street and to those in front of city hall. ... 'Come here and listen to me! I'll pour out the spirit of wisdom upon you and make you wise. I called you so often but you didn't come. I reached out to you, but you paid no attention. You ignored my advice and rejected the correction I offered.'"

And in James, it tells us that if we desire wisdom, we only need to ask God for it, and it will be granted. So simple:

If you need wisdom—if you want to know what God wants you to do—ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking. - James 1:5

So let us ask rather than ignore. Let us turn to God's vision of wedlock rather than our own culture's definition of what a spouse ought to be like. Let us seek his guidance in preparing our hearts for marriage rather than idle the time we've been given. Let us draw closer to him and wait for his answer—which will surely come.

Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight and understanding. Search for them as you would for lost money or hidden treasure. Then you will understand what it means to fear the LORD, and you will gain knowledge of God. For the LORD grants wisdom! - Proverbs 2:2-6

(If you want to find out more about the Women Praying Boldly prayer group, you can read more about it here and sign up to receive the monthly e-newsletters here.) 


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Come Together...

At my church, each week we recite the Apostle's Creed, which lists the core tenets of the Christian faith. We start off saying, "I believe in God the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, and in Jesus Christ his only Son, our Lord." We continue on, listing off the things we believe about Jesus. Then we say, "I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins..."

In this context, the term 'catholic church' is not referring to Roman Catholicism as we know it today but simply refers to the universal Church of believers. And the communion of saints is talking about the spiritual union of the members of the Christian Church, living and dead.

The Body of Christ—His church—is a powerful thing that I don't think we always recognize. It's not just the Christians we know or who go to our church. We are intimately connected with every Christian everywhere, who has ever lived. It is a crazy concept but it shows the power of the Body coming together.

For more than a year, I oversaw the Women Praying Boldly prayer group that I kicked off last summer as a way to band together and encourage women who are still waiting for God to write their love stories and bring them together with a godly spouse. Because life has gotten crazy with a kiddo who's crawling around like crazy, I recently passed the torch along to two other women (Leeann and Jen) who are now overseeing the group and keeping it going, growing and vibrant. (If you want to find out more about the Women Praying Boldly prayer group, you can read more about it here and sign up to receive the monthly e-newsletters here.)

Over the course of the almost two years that I started and grew the group, I received emails from women from all over the country, even throughout the world, who tell me how much they need this, how much it means to them to get prayer from and to pray for another woman, who feels the exact same way, even if she’s on the other side of the globe. I’ve heard how this challenge to keep praying and keep praying even when your circumstances never seem to change has been a challenge for them to come to know God more and deeper and fuller.

While we celebrate with the women who became engaged during the span of the project, there are others who have instead found heartbreak even in spite of all this prayer. And yet, in the midst of it, many of those same heartbroken and disappointed have told me how God’s used this time to draw them closer into His own love, how they started off looking for one thing and ended up finding something far better that they hadn’t realized was missing from their relationship with God. And it’s a journey we have taken together, sharing the ups and downs, the disappointments and the times of joy, even when they come from the most surprising of places.

What we are doing in this group—what we are doing together—matters. (Which is why I was so pleased that these ladies were willing to take over for me!)

There is truly power in us coming together to pray for one another, to encourage one another through the Holy Spirit, to plead strength and mercy on each others accounts.

In Hebrews 12 it says:"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish. ... Think about all he endured when sinful people did such terrible things to him, so that you don't become weary and give up. After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin."

Yes, friends. Let us endure together and keep our eyes on Jesus.

Together.

(If you want to find out more about the Women Praying Boldly prayer group, you can read more about it here and sign up to receive the monthly e-newsletters here.)

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Reflections on Waiting on God for Marriage & Women Praying Boldly | GUEST POST

A GUEST POST BY LEEANN AT LEELEEWRITES.COM

Two summers ago, I poured out my heart into a little blog post about trust. Because of that post, Carmen invited me to join an online prayer group she was starting. Immediately I was drawn into the idea of Women Praying Boldly. I also thought Carmen was a dear for agreeing to host this initiative for her single sisters, even though she herself is happily married.

It was a simple concept. We would pray for each other and our futures, specifically our collective desire to find our future husbands. We would also be seeking answers for where we are supposed to be now, in the waiting time.

It was simple in theory, but so much more complex in real life. My prayer life has become richer and more deliberate as a direct result of this activity. So much has been revealed and learned in this year and half.

As soon as I joined the prayer initiative, I bluntly and boldly told God every desire of my heart and how soon I wanted to see those desires fulfilled. Yet even as I prayed those words, I wrote:

Jesus won’t fit into any box I make, including time. Knowing all this, I believe
such prayers are not out of line. If God’s answer is different from what I want, it
just means that he has something better in store. Long gone are the days when the
disappointment devastated me. I lose nothing off my worth or identity by not seeing
my desires for marriage fulfilled as soon as I would like.

When fears took over and I felt unworthy, I would confess my shortcomings:

I am lonely. I am also scared of the unknown. I have made several mistakes before
and sometimes I worry that I will make the same mistakes again in the future. It is
only a mistake the first time. The second time must surely imply some inherent flaw
in your character. Who wants to let their guard down and admit that they are an
imperfect person?

I am scared of the unknown. Once I take that giant, daunting first step, most likely
I will find that everything is perfectly fine. Sure, there is a slight chance that I fall flat on my face. There is also the chance that I finally get far more than I ever dared to dream. I am not sure which extreme is more frightening.

God did not respond by giving me what I wanted, but something better. I longed for human affection, but he showed me over and over how He thought I was worthy. I was created for a purpose and that alone made me beautiful. His answers to my prayers had become cherished treasures. Even when it seemed like He was not responding, He most certainly was.

At some point in this particular prayer journey, I started to notice a shift. I was no longer just affirming that God was good. I was no longer only asking for my prayers to be answered one way. I was praying for others as often as myself. I was thankful for this community. I started asking for my heart to be changed and for it to find roots.

Oh how much my heart has been transformed! God is gracious and patient. He has slowly introduced my heart to new and exciting possibilities. He shows me over and over how his plans for me are truly good. He reminds me that He is my anchor. He has placed me right where I belong. With that gift also came freedom.

Freedom is a wonderful and precious gift. I could do wonderful things or I could fail. Failure scares me. I have the freedom to give the fear control of my heart or to fight back with truth. Even if I fall on my face, God will still be there. He will not abandon or forget me.

With that lesson in mind, I find we have come full circle back to trust. My mended heart knows He is worthy of my trust. I am taking the scary risks involved in starting a brand new relationship that has grown out of a beautiful friendship. If there ever was a time when I needed to trust God, it is now.

(If you are interested in learning more about the Women Praying Boldly community or signing up for our monthly emails,  you can find out more here.)

Leeann, or Leelee as she prefers, spends her days with preschoolers and her nights writing stories. She enjoys seeking out beauty in the midst of chaos, peace in the midst of turmoil, and faith in spite of herself. While these passions fill her heart with joy, her first love is her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. She also likes the color pink and sparkles. You can keep in touch with her by checking out her website, leeleewrites.com (and find all her previous posts about Women Praying Boldly here), following her on Twitter (@leeleegirl4) or following her Facebook page, Facebook.com/LeeleeWrites.

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Adam and Eve, and a God Who Orchestrates It All

I recently shared about a book I've been reading through and loving: Jesus: A Theography. I was just reading a section that made me stop my reading and sit, once again, in awe of what God has done in my life, particularly in regards to my marriage, and the fact that it's the thing he's been doing all along, ever since the first man and woman in bringing them together.

(I chronicled the whole story about how God brought me and my husband together in a series called, "Our Love Story," which you can read through here, if you missed it.)

The authors are talking about the Genesis 2 creation story, where God has made Adam from the dirt and, upon seeing that he is alone, makes all the animals (from more dirt) to give his creation a suitable companion or helper. But none are found. So, he puts Adam to sleep and fashions woman from Adam's rib.

The authors illuminate what happens next in the story: "Once the woman was split apart from him, God 'brought her to the man,' an image that foreshadows the bridal attendant taking the bride to the bridegroom.

When I read that sentence, the word that popped out to me the most was the word "God." It was God who took the woman to the man. They weren't left wandering around the garden only to bump into one another and then fall in love. No, God orchestrated the entire thing, from start to finish, even to bringing them together and introducing them.

That is what I have seen God to do for me in my own life, and it has made for an incredible journey that still takes my breath away to remember all the crazy facets of it.

But it also made me think of all you others out there who are waiting to be that companion, who are waiting to have this story be your own story. I think of you because I remember that season of waiting, too.

And so I pray the wisdom of this Scripture over you: That it would be God who brings you to your mate and that, just as Adam waited on God to bring along his perfect companion, you too would be encouraged in your waiting.

(And, if you need encouragement while you wait, consider signing up for the monthly Women Praying Boldly newsletter that I send out to a group of one hundred or so women who are committed to praying for one another as they all await God to work this very same way in their lives!)

Plus, you can read more about this book in my review, or you can find Jesus: A Theography on Amazon.

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Women Praying Boldly Initiative: Will You Join Us?

I know we are in the midst of the Secrets of a Newlywed series. I also know that many of you who read my blog are not in that stage of life yet. While I firmly believe that you don’t have to be currently married to benefit from the insights in the series (and to treasure them in your hearts so that you start off your marriage stronger when it does happen!), I do know that many of you look forward to the day when you can apply these lessons to your own lives.

And I understand that longing, more than you know. When I was single, it became a very large burden on my heart to pray about finding a godly man. I truly believe that because I prayed so earnestly and brought that desire to the Lord, that he answered my prayers and wove my love story within months.

I also believe that we not only should pray these things (meaning, godly desires of any kind!) for ourselves but also for one another. Because I saw how that prayer worked so miraculously in my own life, I make it a point to continue to pray for women I know who have that same desire.

And I’d like to take this opportunity to reach out to any of the readers here who would like to share in that, as well.

Here’s what I propose: I would love to start a Women Praying Boldly initiative (taken from Candice Watter’s book Get Married) here on this blog. If you are interested in praying for a godly husband and want others to rally around you in prayer, then fill out this form here with your contact information.

Everyone who fills this form out will become a part of this initiative and then we’ll all start praying for each other. You don’t have to pray every day, but you do have to commit to intentionally praying for your fellow ladies a few times each month. I only want women who take this prayer seriously—those who really believe that it can impact lives and are willing to pray it boldly themselves—to sign up.

If you’re already married but still want to join along in praying for these ladies, then you can jump on board, too. Once I get everyone’s information, I’ll send an email out and include each woman’s first name only. Then, the praying begins.

I would love to be able to see how this commitment to prayer impacts women’s lives, so I hope that once this begins, I’ll have some testimonies to share with the rest of the group (and maybe here on this blog, as well!). We’ll just have to see what comes of it.

For now, we step out in faith and ask…

Will you ask with me?

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Your Questions Answered: Encouragement for the Season of Waiting to Find Your Spouse (Part 2)

QUESTION: If there are any books or passages of scripture you recommend that truly spoke to you during your season of waiting [to meet your husband], definitely let me know.

Yesterday, I shared some of the specific resources that I found helpful during my time of waiting. Today, I decided to take a look back into my old journals and share, in my own words, what really was encouraging me during this period of waiting. What was strengthening my heart and my hope in the Lord’s timing?

While flipping through my journal entries, I came across this prayer that I'd written during the early months of 2008:

I’m feeling emboldened in my quest for the ultimate human love (toward a husband)–not that there are any nearby or possible prospects, but that I believe that marriage is something You want for me and that is in my cards.

So right now I’m preparing.

I’m learning more and more what to look for in a husband, and praying for it. I’m trying to learn to treat others in a way that will allow me to be a better wife/mother (nonjudgmental, more encouraging, listening, prodding more questions to spur contemplation, generosity with time, etc). I’m trying to practice my nurturing spirit now, as I volunteer with the youth group and learn to guide the young women without demands or directives, but through suggestion and spiritual challenges.

And I believe that You will act and that You will bless and that You will guide. And that’s what satisfies me right now, that’s what keeps me joyful and looking up and forward.

This idea crept up again and again in my entries: to see my time as a single woman as an opportunity for investment rather than a chain around my neck. I began to realize that God had given me this time alone for a reason. Perhaps it’s because I’m not yet ready to meet the godly man he has in mind? Perhaps he would like me to work on some things now that will only benefit our relationship later? Later, I copied a quote from an online article I read that spoke to this, saying: “But if I am not happy now, if I am not content in my present situation, will a new career or a relationship really change anything for me at a heart level?”

I also was encouraged during this time by the expectation that God will come through on his promises. That I can give him what I have in my hands and he will multiply and bless it. This is incredibly evident in the story of Abraham and Isaac when Abraham trusts that God will provide an alternate sacrifice, even though he's already been commanded to sacrifice Isaac. God will provide, and we must learn to trust him, even when the odds look impossible! That is when he gets the greatest glory, because only he can overcome the impossible! So perhaps when things look impossible, we must stop thinking that they really are that way but learn to trust that this is an opportunity for us to watch the Lord work his wonders.

Later in my journal, from April 24, 2008, I found this prophetic nugget: “also, as far as my future goes, i really do feel like God has it under control and feel comfortable that i’ll be at that “married” point in 2 years, that perhaps this summer he will bring that certain someone into my life and set us up for a future. i see this happening as i prepare to move–that maybe if i end up in grand rapids, that’s where that will fall into place and stand as a moment that validates those decisions. something (whether it’s peace from God or my own brand of wishful thinking) tells me that that’s on the horizon and that I don’t need to fret. i like that kind of comfort and trust. i still fidget in my seat waiting for it to come to pass, but i feel it approaching. i just hope that when it does, that i can weather and balance it well.”

Discovering these words just blew my mind because this was exactly how my marriage transpired: Later that summer I did meet my husband (not until the end of June, though) and we started dating just as I was moving off to Grand Rapids. The following summer (less than two years later), we were married. This is proof that the Lord does speak! The Lord is good and does not lead us astray! Listen to what he is whispering to your heart!

What Other Questions Do You Have For Me?

Recently, I invited you to ask me any questions you might have that I could answer in upcoming posts, whether it's follow-up regarding anything I've written about in the past, curiosities regarding any of my personal experiences, or your general blogging questions. In the following weeks I will continue to respond to your questions, so please feel free to ask any that come to mind in the comments below or send me an email. 

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Your Questions Answered: Encouragement for the Season of Waiting to Find Your Spouse (Part 1)

QUESTION: If there are any books or passages of scripture you recommend that truly spoke to you during your season of waiting [to meet your husband], definitely let me know.

Waiting is one of the most difficult lessons in life, especially when it involves something that is incredibly near and dear to your heart, as finding a loving spouse is for so many women. I know the fears and frustrations that come along with it all too well.

So I'm going to address this question in two parts. Today, I'm going to list out some of the specific resources that I sought during my season of waiting. Tomorrow, I'm going to look back into some of my journal entries from that period and share them with you to give an upclose look at how I was encouraged.

In my experience, there was a huge variety of things that swirled together to do those things—a Scripture here, an article here, a wise word there. Slowly, slowly those things all worked together to give me the confidence to wait on the Lord in this area and trust him to deliver my heart to someone who might treasure it—and to forgo the others who wouldn’t.

I’ve mentioned before that one of the most encouraging books I read during this time (and trust me, I read many others, but none were as impactful as this) was Get Married by Candice Watters. (I shared some of my notes here as well as some bullet-point notes on my old blog.)

One of her main encouragements is to be bold in praying for a godly husband. I remember that much of the Scripture that I feasted on during this period of time was in regards to God encouraging us to ask him. I went through the Bible and marked each passage I could find where we’re told to Ask and ye shall receive with a big, inky question mark. This might seem disjointed from the pursuit of waiting for marriage, but for me, it was nourishing to know that God compelled me to ask for his gifts, of which marriage is one. This heartened my time of waiting and made it one of expectation rather than discouragement.

I also found solace in Tara Leigh Cobble's memoir, Here's to Hindsight, because here was a godly woman who also experienced heartache in regards to dating. In those moments when it's easy to feel like the whole world is against you, it's a good reminder that there are others who know what you're feeling and are journeying down this same frustrating path, as well.

Other resources that gave me special encouragement during this time of preparation also included podcasts and articles from Boundless.org, which often included godly wisdom regarding dating. Those really grounded my search and expectations and behavior toward dating, in a way that I don’t believe much else of contemporary Christian culture does. They really set the bar high and challenged me to realign what dating was going to look like in my life—and, most importantly, what it wasn’t.

Finally, I also was incredibly encouraged by other Christian couples I knew who were the real deal. I’m talking about the couples who really loved the Lord together and were a light. That inspired me and rather than stoked envy, because I saw with my own two eyes that it was really possible for two people to come together and use marriage as a tool to bring glory to God. This desire in my heart could really happen!

Tomorrow, I'll share some thoughts and insights from my journal entries during my time in waiting...

What Other Questions Do You Have For Me?

Recently, I invited you to ask me any questions you might have that I could answer in upcoming posts, whether it's follow-up regarding anything I've written about in the past, curiosities regarding any of my personal experiences, or your general blogging questions. In the following weeks I will continue to respond to your questions, so please feel free to ask any that come to mind in the comments below or send me an email. 

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Your Questions Answered: How I Knew My Husband Was "The One"

QUESTION: Well, I do have a question and I hope it's not too personal. What confirmation did you receive that your husband was the one God had for you?

one of our engagement photos by fyrefly photography

I don’t think this is too personal at all, and in fact I think this is one of my favorite questions I’ve received yet! Probably mostly because I love sharing how God has directed decisions and circumstances in my life, as well as a good chance to brag on my husband, but also because I appreciate the chance to dispel any—for lack of a better word—misconceptions that I think can sometimes crop up when we start talking about finding “the one.”

When I was single, I really hoped that God would make it especially clear to me who I should marry. I had heard of people who had dreams that directed them to date a certain person to marry. I don’t doubt that God does work in those miraculous sorts of ways, but that was not the case for me. Instead, it was a pretty ordinary chain of events where I got to see more and more of my husband’s heart and trust that it was rooted in the Lord. And through those glimpses, I knew that I could trust him with my own heart.

If you’ve read the back story on what was going on in my life around the time that I first met my now-husband (here ya go, if you need to catch up), you know that at this time, I had just finished reading a very insightful and encouraging book from a biblical perspective called Get Married by Candice Watters and was passionately praying that the Lord would prepare me for my husband and would bring us together.

I’ll start off by saying that I think this aspect—prayer and preparing of the heart—is probably one of the first elements of recognizing that my husband was right for me. During the season of singleness leading up to meeting him, I was especially learning about the role of a Christian wife and actively trying to live out the virtues set forth in by the wife in Proverbs 31. It’s what Watters calls “live like you’re going to be married,” despite what circumstances (ie, singleness) might otherwise suggest. This active pursuit really went a long way in helping me see what mattered in a man—not his looks, job, salary, or (ahem) age. (Didjaknow? My husband is four years younger than me!) I realized that what really mattered was his heart for the Lord, and from that single facet, all else would fall into place.

I know people who make all sorts of list and qualifications to choose a husband. But I think there only has to be one: That he loves the Lord more than I do. When my husband and I were dating, that was the quality that stuck out to me so much. I couldn’t believe how much he read his Bible and how well he knew it. He loved the Word! Talking about God was one of the main topics of conversation from when we first started dating and it was that thread that drew us together.

Later as we dated, we had to learn how to deal with conflict. I remember one argument that we had very vividly. I was exasperated because I couldn’t get him to change his mind on a subject that I felt very strongly about. Then I realized that it’s not my job to make him change his mind, the only one who can do that is the Holy Spirit. So I stopped trying and instead started praying and decided to trust the Holy Spirit to speak to him. About an hour later, I got a phone call from him, with a softer heart, and we were able to smooth out the conversation. That interchange was a breakthrough in our relationship because it proved one thing: I could trust him to listen to the Holy Spirit. I knew that if he was obedient to God above all else, then I had nothing else to worry about. I could trust my heart to one who listened to and heeded the Lord!

I should also add that I don't necessarily believe there is only "one" person out there for anyone (though some are definitely better than others!). That being said, I can't imagine anyone better suited for me than my husband. Every day I am in more and more awe over this fact when I think about how kind and gentle and comforting my husband is with me. He is not perfect, but he is perfect for me.

What Other Questions Do You Have For Me?
Recently, I invited you to ask me any questions you might have that I could answer in upcoming posts, whether it's follow-up regarding anything I've written about in the past, curiosities regarding any of my personal experiences, or your general blogging questions.

In the following weeks I will continue to respond to your questions, so please feel free to ask any that come to mind in the comments below or send me an email. I have some questions in the queue regarding my thoughts on faith, cooking advice, and how my baking soda shampoo is doing, so those and more to come!

(If you missed last week's Q&A, it was in regards to my decorating plans for the holidays.)   

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Six months of marriage: One more answered prayer

one of our wedding photos by fyrefly photography

Today, Michael and I celebrate six months of being married.

Though it admittedly isn’t all that long in the grand scheme of things, it is pretty incredible to look back and see how far we’ve come: A year and a half ago, I was single and living in Cincinnati. At the time, there were two prayers on my heart: 1. To meet the godly man I would marry, and 2. Find a job in Grand Rapids and start the next chapter of my life.

I had only been praying adamantly and intentionally about both of those for a few months when I penned this journal entry titled, "things are happening… i can see it," that reflects on God working in these two prayers:

July 15, 2008

All I can say is that I feel like I’m at a point where I’m really able to watch God work. It used to be that God would do stuff without me realizing it and I wasn’t aware that the steps I was taking would lead here or there. But now, I feel like I’m finally able to see it and perceive in, in real, live time.

It kind of reminds me of the part in Fantasia where the magic just starts to kick in, and it’s happening little by little. But after awhile it swells into this huge symphony of magic coming together. Right now, it’s that beginning. Where the buckets are teetering and brooms are waking up and they’re starting that little dance, just now stirring. And to think i’m able to watch it as it happens to me and those around me. It’s so awesome.

“If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it…”

It’s interesting to note that when I wrote that, I had no word about a job in Grand Rapids and no men on the horizon. I knew Michael, but was convinced he had no interest in me so I had no expectation that anything would happen there at all.

Yet, there was a feeling in my bones that God was at work with these prayers. What do you know? Within weeks, I had my first date with Michael and a job offer in a city with one of the country's most depressed employment rates. A year later,  I was already a married woman and planning my next cross-country move. Miracles wrought, revealing that God can make the impossible possible, the loftiest of prayers come true, faster than we ever anticipated.

It has been so amazing to look back and see how God laid those prayers so heavily on my heart and then--why am I surprised?--answered them in such an incredible and powerful manner. A year and a half later, I'm still in awe and ever-so thankful, as both of them have indelibly changed my life and my heart!

Happy anniversary, Michael. I love you!

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What a step of faith looks like: Living in anticipation of our future goals

photo by denis defreyne 

Yesterday, I touched on the idea of making do with what you have as a characteristic of the Proverbs 31 wife. Toward the end, I mentioned that I'm doing much of this in preparation for the day when I have a family, even though we're a couple years away from that (at least accordding to our plan!).

When I was still single, I read a book that talked about the idea of living in anticipation of our future goals. The aptly named book, Get Married by Candice Watters, revolved around the idea of a woman's desire to be married. The author encouraged readers to live like they're going to be married--that is, act in a manner befitting of a wife. That translates to things like not being a flirt or being wise with your finances (since a husband will inherit your debt, too).

She notes that this kind of preparatory train of thought is an outward act of faith: Even though, in the case of the book, the reader is single and marriage seems far off, once you put this desire before God in prayer, you then begin preparing in these sorts of ways because you expect him to answer. That is stepping out in faith.

Since then, I have clung to this idea and tried to live it out, from my prayers for marriage to my prayers for new jobs. I have also begun applying it to my prayers for the day when I become a mother and start raising our family.

Even though it may not be for a couple years that this prayer comes to fruition (and for now we're glad for that, while Michael finishes up school!), I want to begin learning the art of homemaking now so that by the time this is in full-swing and I have a little one depending on me, I will be prepared. I won't look at my cupboards and freak out because I don't know what to make for dinner. I won't look at our finances and freak out because we haven't prepared for this transition. I know that when that time comes, I'll have enough to worry about as it is. I want to live today to make tomorrow as promising and fulfilling as possible.

For me, I am learning to live like I'm going to be a parent. But for you, it may be some other prayer that God has laid on your heart--a job, a spouse, a healing, a specific provision. Consider what steps of faith you can do today to pave the way for tomorrow's answered prayer. Hebrews 11:1 encourages us, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

... She looks forward to the future with joy.
Proverbs 31:25

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