Telling my husband I love him, in three words

photo by helga

There is something to be said for the vulnerability of the words, "I need you." Whether it's to God ("I need you"), to my husband ("I need you") or to my dear friends ("I need you") these words are some of the most powerful  I've found--and also must unspoken.

In marriage, those words can seem scary even though, whether you utter them or not, they are incredibly true. I need Michael. Of course I do! He holds my heart in his hands, everything he does or says affects me. His words and sentiments reverberate in my heart. Of course I need him. Who do I turn to when I'm having a bad day? Who do I tell my fears and my ideas to? Whose opinion matters most to me? I need him and his care and his heart and his strength and his encouragement and his wisdom and his protection. That's what marriage does. Two become one and you need each other. But that doesn't make you "needy."

I remember realizing this--that I need him. And I don't remember the specifics of it, when or where or how, but I told him, I told him that I need him. Even now, if I'm having a down-and-out kind of day and I need a hug or an encouragement, I'll whisper those words to him. "I need you." And with that, I put my heart out on the table.

Isn't that what C.S. Lewis said about love, though? "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."

And yet, when you admit that vulnerability out-loud, that is when the depth of your love starts to come into view and you realize the enormity of it all.

Which leads me to a question for you: What other words have you found vital to your closest relationships (with God, friends, family or significant others) that go beyond "I love you"?

My lover is mine, and I am his.
Song of Solomon 2:16

1 comment:

  1. I forgive you. Forgiveness is the one of the key most important aspects of unconditional love. If God forgives, why shouldn't we? We are made in his image, to live and love like him. To love like him we must have unending forgiveness!


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