Before I had my daughter, I did a lot of reading in preparation, since as a first-time mom, I was a legitimate rookie. I’d only changed half a dozen diapers before then and still felt awkward holding any baby who couldn’t hold their own head up.
So, I turned to books. I learned a lot, particularly all the things you shouldn’t do. I took notes, marked pages, and felt ready to take on this motherhood thing.
Then, my baby arrived. And with it, all my good intentions. I was in survival mode and would do whatever it took to stop crying, to settle down for sleep. Which is how I found myself doing all those things I’d vowed never to do because they were the only things that worked.
I felt like what I was doing was right for us, but the problem was that having read all those books, I carried guilt around about how “wrong” I was doing things. I worried about how I was going to right those wrongs later down the road, how my daughter would recover from those mistakes, how messed up I was making her in the process.
Fortunately, it was recommended that I check out another book, but this one was almost the opposite of all the others I’d read. It talked about freedom in parenting, about looking to God (rather than man) for your parenting decisions, and, most comforting to me, about how the authors had done many of the same “wrong” things I had—and everything turned out all right.
The book is Spirit-Led Parenting by Megan Tietz and Laura Oyer. The authors found themselves in the same position I did—torn between following the parenting books and advice and having children who weren’t thriving under those rules or situations that didn’t work out like the books all said they should. Whether it was breastfeeding issues or getting their babes to sleep, their early days as mothers were not easy and ended some days in tears—just like mine.
And yet, they found peace in leaning on God and letting go of all the “shoulds” and “musts” from parenting gurus to trust Him instead. Their book is an encouragement to other mothers who find themselves in similar spots, whose foray into motherhood has been harder than they’d expected and who need more than ordinary books provide.
I read this book while I was in Ohio with Claire, when life had gotten so hard (and she was crying so much) that I needed more help than my husband (who still had to work his full-time job) could provide. What a salve to my soul these women’s words were during that time. It was such a relief to read them and to hear their stories and how hard motherhood had been for them, how they’d cried tears, too. To hear that I was not alone in struggling with this transition of mine.
Even moreso, I found such encouragement as they talked, now a few years into motherhood, about how their children had turned out completely fine and healthy and independent in spite of the “mistakes” they’d made in those early days. That grace truly does extend into every aspect of life, even (especially?) in parenting.
This week, I’m excited to share a guest post by the authors as well as round out the week with a giveaway for some copies of the book. Because Spirit-Led Parenting actually is one of the books I think new moms or moms-to-be ought to read!
Related Posts
Discovering Peace in Parenting
On My Reading List: Books About Motherhood
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: If I had to recommend any one book to someone who's married, this is the book. I've read it twice now, and expect that I'll read it plenty more over the course of my marriage. It's Scripturally based on the underpinning from Ephesians that husbands are called to love their wives and women are called to respect their husbands. The book is divided into a section for husbands and a section for wives, and each one walks through why those two needs are so pivotal, how they can practically go about tending to those needs, and why those needs are so important for that gender. It was eye-opening for me to get a glimpse into how my husband's need for respect is so different from my own for love and what I can do to show my husband that he does truly have my respect. (
: I read this book when I was still single and thought it was a one-of-a-kind title, addressing women's tendency to romanticize romance and put it on a pedestal above the Divine Romance we are called to have with the Lord. It's convicting and eye-opening in a good way that will really help you weed out your heart's intentions.
: I've 
: This book takes Song of Songs from the Bible and teaches couples how they can learn from this age-old book and use it to transform their relationship into one as madly in love as the one captured in the verses. By looking at this book of the Bible, the author points out the relationship wisdom that's hidden in there and how couples can apply those insights to their own marriage. I loved that it was truly rooted in the Bible, and consequently, it helped me learn as much about the Song as about my marriage!
: This book is one I often recommend with a grain of salt. I think it's filled with some really great insights that will call you to be a more gracious, humble and helpful wife. But the author's tone at times can be a bit condescending and negative, something of a "tough love" approach I suppose. She calls women to rise above the pettiness and bitterness that can turn a marriage sour and to practice unconditional love, whether our husbands deserve it or not. Never an easy task, but she shares many testimonials of how this approach has transformed other women's lives. One of my favorite takeaways from the book was encouraging women to learn how to do stuff for themselves, such as simple household tasks and fixes. Because if we have a lengthy honey-do list and our husbands fail to tend to those tasks, they can prove fertile ground for sowing arguments and resentment. Avoid all that by trying to take care of things yourself, if possible. Plus, you'll likely feel much more efficient that way!
: Something of a silly title, I read this right before my husband started dating. Great timing because it really gave some really interesting and helpful insights into how men and women treat and act in relationships differently. Although it's the only book of these that's not labeled as being from a Christian standpoint, it does uphold a lot of Biblical viewpoints on relationships, such as mens' desires to be leaders and what that means for women. One of my favorite insights from the book was how the author touched on how many women bemoan the fact that their boyfriends (or spouses, for that matter!) aren't as helpful as they were early in the relationship. The author said that many women interpret this as a sign that the man doesn't love them anymore, but really it's just that now that you're closer, he expects that if you want him to do something, you'll ask. He's happy to pitch in, but he just needs to know what you need. 
, recently published Thomas Nelson and provided to me for review.
, I felt that nostalgia from girlhood come back. This is the cookbook for me: 
, which talks about this sense of “anonymity” we often feel. The author, Alicia Britt Chole, looks at it a different way, though, seeing these seasons of our lives as an opportunity from God to prepare us for our seasons of action, of affecting the world.
" by Philip Yancey). But I thought I'd share the titles that have made this list of mine, sitting ever-so-patiently on the bottom shelf, waiting to be read:
by C.S. Lewis
by Carol Kuykendall
by Jon M. Sweeney
by Jonni McCoy 
by Willard F. Harley, Jr. 
by Amy Carmichael
by Andrew Murray
by Trish Ryan
by Francis Chan
by Renee Loux
. This memoir delves into her childhood, exploring her upbringing in a Canadian Hutterite community (which is similar to the Amish in that it's a religiously-based community with strict, old-fashioned dress codes) and then her eventual struggle to adapt to English life when her family left the community when she was only ten.
is more than beautiful words and a beautiful story--it is deeper than that (which I shared 
if you found that compelling.) Whether you like fiction or not, it is an incredible story that you can't help but find inspiring.
