Your Questions Answered: Encouragement for the Season of Waiting to Find Your Spouse (Part 1)

QUESTION: If there are any books or passages of scripture you recommend that truly spoke to you during your season of waiting [to meet your husband], definitely let me know.

Waiting is one of the most difficult lessons in life, especially when it involves something that is incredibly near and dear to your heart, as finding a loving spouse is for so many women. I know the fears and frustrations that come along with it all too well.

So I'm going to address this question in two parts. Today, I'm going to list out some of the specific resources that I sought during my season of waiting. Tomorrow, I'm going to look back into some of my journal entries from that period and share them with you to give an upclose look at how I was encouraged.

In my experience, there was a huge variety of things that swirled together to do those things—a Scripture here, an article here, a wise word there. Slowly, slowly those things all worked together to give me the confidence to wait on the Lord in this area and trust him to deliver my heart to someone who might treasure it—and to forgo the others who wouldn’t.

I’ve mentioned before that one of the most encouraging books I read during this time (and trust me, I read many others, but none were as impactful as this) was Get Married by Candice Watters. (I shared some of my notes here as well as some bullet-point notes on my old blog.)

One of her main encouragements is to be bold in praying for a godly husband. I remember that much of the Scripture that I feasted on during this period of time was in regards to God encouraging us to ask him. I went through the Bible and marked each passage I could find where we’re told to Ask and ye shall receive with a big, inky question mark. This might seem disjointed from the pursuit of waiting for marriage, but for me, it was nourishing to know that God compelled me to ask for his gifts, of which marriage is one. This heartened my time of waiting and made it one of expectation rather than discouragement.

I also found solace in Tara Leigh Cobble's memoir, Here's to Hindsight, because here was a godly woman who also experienced heartache in regards to dating. In those moments when it's easy to feel like the whole world is against you, it's a good reminder that there are others who know what you're feeling and are journeying down this same frustrating path, as well.

Other resources that gave me special encouragement during this time of preparation also included podcasts and articles from Boundless.org, which often included godly wisdom regarding dating. Those really grounded my search and expectations and behavior toward dating, in a way that I don’t believe much else of contemporary Christian culture does. They really set the bar high and challenged me to realign what dating was going to look like in my life—and, most importantly, what it wasn’t.

Finally, I also was incredibly encouraged by other Christian couples I knew who were the real deal. I’m talking about the couples who really loved the Lord together and were a light. That inspired me and rather than stoked envy, because I saw with my own two eyes that it was really possible for two people to come together and use marriage as a tool to bring glory to God. This desire in my heart could really happen!

Tomorrow, I'll share some thoughts and insights from my journal entries during my time in waiting...

What Other Questions Do You Have For Me?

Recently, I invited you to ask me any questions you might have that I could answer in upcoming posts, whether it's follow-up regarding anything I've written about in the past, curiosities regarding any of my personal experiences, or your general blogging questions. In the following weeks I will continue to respond to your questions, so please feel free to ask any that come to mind in the comments below or send me an email.