A Testimony to God's Perfect Timing

It's been over a year since I started this humble blog of mine. And for the past year, I've been chronicling our search for stable employment. And I've been able to chronicle how, though we've been in limbo for more than a year regarding this situation, the Lord has never failed to provide for us. We have never had to dip into our savings to pay for rent or groceries. We have never not had a paycheck coming in, even when we'd been told that the job should have ended months ago.

God has been faithful.

And as we know, his faithfulness endures forever. So it is that I am thrilled to share the news with you all that what has been a year in the making is now coming to fruition after lesson upon lesson of patience and trust: My husband was officially offered a full-time, career job last week!

What's more, as it turns out, his first day will be Monday, November 29. Would you be surprised to know that this could not be any more perfect timing? The last day of my freelance gig is that Friday, December 3! Praise the Lord!!

And that's why it's so incredible to be able to page back through these posts that document the ups and downs of this journey: From just weeks after I quit my job to move to Atlanta and yet I found myself with a temporary freelance job that would support us, but was set to expire at the end of the year. My prayer requests for jobs and an awareness to continue to ask and ask and ask regarding this situation—even when it takes more than year's worth of asking. My struggle learning to embrace this unknown state and finding encouragement in the Psalms to press on.

There were the updates when there was nothing really to share and then when I found out my temporary job was officially coming to an end. And sharing the news when I didn't get the job and when I did (and had to turn it down).

It's through all these snippets of the hopes and fears and frustrations that took place along the way that we can see so clearly how far God has brought us and how he's sustained and nourished us along the way. Which keeps me saying, Praise the Lord!!

Of course I'm still looking for a job, but this latest provision makes the search much less of a burden and provides me a bit more time to look for something that fits. But even more, this reminds me that I really don't have anything to worry about, and that everything will work out, according to God's perfect timing.

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

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Cupcake Reminders that Life is Sweet, Even When It Doesn't Feel Like It

A couple weeks ago, Michael was running some errands, dropping off a job application, meeting up with folks for lunch, etc. He returned, looking dapper not only because he was donning a shirt and tie, but also because he had a surprise for me. Oh, how I love surprises!

I think Michael learned early on that it takes little to make me squeal with delight. When we first moved into our apartment, we had to run up to the home improvement store for some nails and screws. He ran in, while I waited in the car. And what did he come back with, but a candy bar. Give me a 50-cent candy bar, and I will feel like you just gave me the world.

So when he came home, he had a fancy bag behind his back. After I closed my eyes and held out my hands, I discovered that inside the bag were half a dozen cupcakes of all different flavors. There was cookies and creme, red velvet, carrot cake and, my favorite, mint chocolate.

It could not have been better timing because it was later that day that we received the news I've been dreading for months—almost a year—now: That my freelancing gig will soon come to an end.

Now mind you, I am well aware of how blessed we are. This was only supposed to last a couple of months, originally December at the latest. But it has now lasted more than a year. A year of getting to wake up whenever I like, work from my couch in my PJ's, take a manuscript and read down at the park, and mull writing ideas while I'm running errands.

And so now that the sands of time have revealed themselves, that time is running out, I struggle to not be disappointed. Because this past year has been so good for me and so good for my marriage, to get to set my schedule around Michael and his classes or his studying. It's allowed me to run errands during the day, when grocery-store aisles are empty and the post-office lines are short.

We're not positive when the end will be. It's really not about time, though, but instead about God and his provision and trusting him. He can work miracles and provide a job in a less than a day. So even though I am admittedly disappointed, I remember him and his promises and dare myself to see this as an opportunity to watch him work.

After I read the email that shared the news, I turned to Michael and told him, "Well, now I'm really glad you got those cupcakes!"

So, for the next few days, we ate like kings and queens. Eating up our little cupcakes, bite by bite, we were reminded that even when things look scary and uncertain and foreboding, life is still sweet and full of surprises to come.

Note: I originally heard the tentative news about 6 weeks ago, but didn't want to post anything until things started looking more official (which I hope you can understand!). I'm still holding out hope that it will take awhile for them to find my replacement, to give us ample time to find a full-time income replacement for either/both of us. From here on out I'll do my best to share any other updates in a more timely fashion! Thanks for your support! 


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{ photo credit }

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What will you ask, today?: Thoughts for Lent

photo by Hamed Saber

For Lent, our church created a devotional of short readings to walk us through the 40 days as we count down to Easter. I normally don't enjoy devotionals because I have a hard time finding ones that are truly thought-provoking and impact my heart. This one, however, has been totally different.

Take this reading:

"Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear." - Isaiah 65:24 

What can this mean? 

Our prayers are anticipated, almost like the picture of an eager person in conversation, rushing to finish your sentence. Here is the image of the Father always ready to answer--the desires of your heart near to His own heart. What can it mean except that our prayers are already on His mind? He only waits to hear us ask. 

What will you pray today, knowing this? 

Someone will say, why should I pray if my God knows what I will ask? What can this verse mean but something even more glorious? Our God is our Father, and He wants to hear our desires, despite His absolute knowledge of all our needs and circumstances. He knows there is so much more. 

Like a loving Father who loves to hear from His children, He wants to hear form us. What will you ask today?

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Lessons I'm Learning: Embracing the unknown

photo by nicole st. john

It feels like right now Michael and I are settling into a season of unknowing: While I'm working on a month-to-month freelance gig and looking for a full-time job, Michael is finishing up his last year of school and preparing to be a teacher. But as we all know, the teaching profession isn't all that ripe if you aren't a math/science/special ed teacher, so even there this is a big question mark looming overhead about what will happen.

And yet, while neither of us know what the future will bring and everything seems continually up in the air, I'm beginning to see the Lord at work, teaching us to release our worries, teaching us to let go of our need to have everything guaranteed for months to come, teaching us to be satisfied with a limited amount of foresight for our daily bread, teaching us to trust and increasing that trust day by day, month by month.

You, see, in spite of "not knowing" for the past 5 months, every month has been provided for us, whether it's income, groceries, a broken computer or anything else. Over and over again, he's showing us to continue on in faith and allow him to provide for us continually.

And for that, I'm learning to thank the Lord for this. I know I should praise God for the good and the bad, because you never know what He has in store to redeem the bad or the unfortunate. But it's only now where I'm able to start seeing and recognizing the fruits this experience has allowed us: growing our relationship with God, but also teaching us about being wise with our finances and learning to lean on one another.

It's beautiful when these sorts of truth begin to reveal themselves, when the foggy veil starts to pull away and the clarity of hindsight gives way. I've been listening to the free music web stream, live from the International House of Prayer and they're playing a song as I write that goes, "He's giving me counsel, even in the night. He's giving me counsel; I will bless the LORD." What a great encouragement to know that!

(I would definitely encourage you to log on and listen to the IHOP webstream. I just let it play in the background while I'm working, emailing, whatever. I've had the privilege of getting to visit there twice now, and love what they're doing there and the example they're setting with their commitment to around-the-clock prayer and worship.)

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I Didn't Get the Job: A Story with a Silver Lining

photo by bluecinderellee

Do you remember that a month and a half ago, right when I started this blog, I asked for prayer regarding a job interview and then shared how well the interview and all the circumstances surrounding it went? Well, a week later, I received a call back from them asking me to come in for a second interview. Everyone interviewing me was talking to me, treating me as though I already had the job. And that's how I was feeling.

Until it had been two weeks, three weeks and I hadn't heard a peep. Even after giving them a phone call follow-up and hearing nothing. That's when I began to realize...I don't think I got this job.

Up until now, any job I've ever had an in-person job interview for, I've been offered the position. I had thanked God that he'd never opened any door that he didn't deliver on, job-wise. I thought, how kind he is to spare me from that kind of disappointment and rejection!

Well, no longer. I got a very kind and amicable phone call today from the woman in HR who let me know that they've decided to move forward with another candidate. Now I had fully been expecting this, seeing as I hadn't heard anything in almost a month. Still, it's humbling to hear the words, when I'd been thinking, 'Maybe, just maybe..."

Previous to hearing this, I'd already committed to trust God with whatever he was doing in this situation. I had stopped praying for this specific job and stepped back to ask that he simply provide an income for us and that it be something I enjoy. I'd decided that whether this job came through or did not, that I would give praise to God, trusting that just as he is the One who is, was and is to come, that he has done great things for me, is doing great things for me and will do great things for me. Though I can't always see those great things happening right now, I will not fret but will wait patiently and expectantly for him to fulfill these promises of his.

Disappointing though it is, there are a couple silver linings: First of all, I asked the woman from HR for any feedback regarding my interview and she shared that the biggest decision-maker was that the other candidate had 12 years of experience versus my five. She said that I was a strong second candidate, and that they'd enjoy entertaining me in the future for other opportunities. That was encouraging to my slightly bruised ego. Secondly, with the suspicion that the job offer was going nowhere fast, I followed up with my current boss to see about extending my freelance contract through the new year. (Currently, it was slated to expire December 31.) She emailed me back almost immediately to let me know she'd been talking to upper managment about that very thing and would like to have me continue through January and likely February.

So, it's another month without having to wonder about income or dipping into savings. It is not exactly the stability I yearn for, but I think that's what God has been teaching me lately: To learn to trust him for my daily bread. To give him the chance to provide for me, month after month after quitting my job. With the peace that comes from him alone, I am thankful and encouraged, about all that was, that is and that is to come.

"...What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open."
Revelation 3:7

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