photo by nicole st. john
It feels like right now Michael and I are settling into a season of unknowing: While I'm working on a month-to-month freelance gig and looking for a full-time job, Michael is finishing up his last year of school and preparing to be a teacher. But as we all know, the teaching profession isn't all that ripe if you aren't a math/science/special ed teacher, so even there this is a big question mark looming overhead about what will happen.
And yet, while neither of us know what the future will bring and everything seems continually up in the air, I'm beginning to see the Lord at work, teaching us to release our worries, teaching us to let go of our need to have everything guaranteed for months to come, teaching us to be satisfied with a limited amount of foresight for our daily bread, teaching us to trust and increasing that trust day by day, month by month.
You, see, in spite of "not knowing" for the past 5 months, every month has been provided for us, whether it's income, groceries, a broken computer or anything else. Over and over again, he's showing us to continue on in faith and allow him to provide for us continually.
And for that, I'm learning to thank the Lord for this. I know I should praise God for the good and the bad, because you never know what He has in store to redeem the bad or the unfortunate. But it's only now where I'm able to start seeing and recognizing the fruits this experience has allowed us: growing our relationship with God, but also teaching us about being wise with our finances and learning to lean on one another.
It's beautiful when these sorts of truth begin to reveal themselves, when the foggy veil starts to pull away and the clarity of hindsight gives way. I've been listening to the free music web stream, live from the International House of Prayer and they're playing a song as I write that goes, "He's giving me counsel, even in the night. He's giving me counsel; I will bless the LORD." What a great encouragement to know that!
(I would definitely encourage you to log on and listen to the IHOP webstream. I just let it play in the background while I'm working, emailing, whatever. I've had the privilege of getting to visit there twice now, and love what they're doing there and the example they're setting with their commitment to around-the-clock prayer and worship.)