Me and Sanctification: A Love/Hate Relationship

I have a love/hate relationship with sanctification.

(If you’re wondering about “sanctification,” here's an in-my-own-words definition: It’s basically the life-long process that the Lord walks us through where he makes us more like Him, day by day, struggle by struggle, learning point by learning point. It’s basically learning to live our faith out through that whole fear and trembling thing.)

The thing is, when I look at all the moments that have sanctified my heart up to this point, I love it. In hindsight, I can see how God was lovingly chiseling and melting and molding my heart when he walked me through some of those hardest points in my life. There were times when I cried and wondered how I was ever going to make it through. Times that left me flabbergasted and shocked at what the Lord was letting happen. There were times when I found myself on me knees again and again, praying and pleading for a certain prayer, which felt like it was never going to be answered.

And yet, in every one of those situations, I was able to walk through and watch them get resolved. I saw the Lord work in every single one of them and truly bring beauty to each one, even those piled up with ashes. I saw him answer my prayers in ways more wonderful than I could have ever anticipated. I saw him teach me about stepping out in true faith when answers took longer to come by. I saw him take care of me and bring blessing and never let me falter. I saw him always act, always love, always be there for me.

But when I’m in the midst of those places? When I’m in those deep, dark times when I’m being stretched and feel splintered and scarred and scared? When I’m in the throes of those hard times—the ones that sanctify us the most, the “refiner’s fire” that we sing about—I hate the process. I try to wriggle free of it. I hate it because it’s hard. Even though I know in my head that it’s all going to work out, that God is going to take care of me, that God is true to his promises and will never fail me, I still wrestle through the hard times.

The thing is, those hard times are always going to keep coming, no matter how much I love them or hate them. They are a part of this life that Jesus has promised to us. The key is for me to remember that the hard part is only but a season. The fruits that grow from it, though, are sweet and will flourish without end as they prove to make me more and more like him, one day, one struggle at a time.

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