So I Got a Job Offer…Now What?

How is it that one thing can feel oh-so large? That it grows and sprawls into some huge, grisly shadow that overtakes your clarity, that consumes your energy and strikes you numb to everything else swirling about you? For me, that thing is a job.

More specifically, it is a job offer. One that I am struggling with. I have been praying for God to provide me with a job, and I have trusted him with this plea, having a great peace knowing he will open the door at the right time.

But, as the door on this opportunity creaks open, I’m not sure how “right” it is—financially as well as timing-wise. It was a job I haphazardly applied for, thinking nothing of it and assuming it would go the way of most of my other applications. Yet they called me back and called me back again. And today, they offered me the job.

So here I am struggling, wrestling with this decision.

I know that “in this economy” I ought to be thankful for this opportunity. But I don’t feel that way at all. In fact, instead it drums up dread and feels like a heavy burden-of-a-boulder in the pit of my stomach, weighing me down. As I tally up the pros and the cons, the cons list staggers. I know I ought to take what I can get, but it seems that what I might be gaining in some long-term financial stability, I would be sacrificing in many other ways. If I said yes, would it be because I’m afraid of the unknown? If I said no, would it be because I’m afraid of the unknown? These are the questions that are pinging inside my head, consuming my thoughts and leaving me as though paralyzed in indecision. I know that it doesn’t make sense; I’ve asked for this over and over again, and now when it’s looking me in the eye, I feel like a hypocrite who says, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

Then I wonder, are there times when that is okay? When that is necessary? Or do you just take what you can get—even if it makes other things more difficult? This is not an easy decision I wrestle with, and these are the times when I wish that God spoke loud and clear rather than in a little, bitty whisper. I know he knows what is best for me. I know he will work everything out for good. I know that even when I make a mistake, that he can bring beauty from the broken bits I offer him. I know that God is bigger than money and paychecks. I know that he can make the impossible possible. I know that he loves me and does everything out of that love for me.

I know all these things, but sometimes they don’t translate as clearly to the minutia of humanity as I would like. Still, I stand lost and looking to the Lord, begging him for an answer.

And then I wonder, do I already have my answer?

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