Welcoming a Baby into Your Marriage / GUEST POST

A GUEST POST BY ANDREA OF EverAfterBlueprint.com

I have been following Carmen’s pregnancy from the sidelines, rejoicing with her as she found out she was having a girl, oohing and aahing over the cute projects she’s working on, and praying for a smooth delivery and healthy baby. Today I’m so excited to be able to talk about welcoming a baby into your marriage while she’s loving on her new little lady. My husband Adam and I just had our first baby (a boy named Emerson) at the end of October, so the memories of those first few weeks of being parents are fresh in my mind. Well, I guess they’re as fresh as they can be since I still feel a little sleep deprived!

Adam and I were married for 7 years before we welcomed a baby into our marriage. We loved our years just the two of us, but we always knew we wanted a family.  People say you’re never ready to have a baby (and they’re partially right) but we did everything we could to prepare ourselves for this little person to invade our home, hearts, and routines. We prayed, we took a class on childbirth, we asked for advice from friends with kids, and we talked to our parents about raising us.

I’ll be honest, there was nothing that could have fully prepared us for the change that comes with having a baby, but all the reading and talking is worth it! When you’re up for the fourth time in the middle of the night, trying to figure out why the baby won’t sleep, you need every ounce of patience to not lose your cool.

One of the most important things we did before Emerson was born was going through a study called The Art of Marriage. We knew having a baby would be a stressful, a life-altering experience, and we wanted our marriage to be solid before so many things changed. When the study talked about how we resolve conflict, how we communicate, and how we express our love to each other, we considered them in the context of our marriage but in regards to kids. Ultimately we want our marriage to set an example of Christ’s love to our kids.

Before we had a baby we had regular date nights. We didn’t have a specific night of the week set aside for us, but any night could be date night. We could catch a movie on a whim, go out for dinner after a long day at work, or head to a coffee shop whenever we wanted. That all changes when you have a baby. Three months in, we’ve been out on a few dates (which has been amazing) but a healthy marriage needs more than the occasional night out to survive!

Our solution is to get creative with date nights. Who says you have to go out to have a date? These days baby boy goes to bed by 7 so that means we have a few quiet hours to ourselves to play a game, cuddle on the couch and watch a movie or a favorite show, or just hang out! Our goal is to do this once a week.

To make the in-home dates a little more special, we take turns planning them. One week I got stuff to make root beer floats (something we don’t usually have) and picked a game to play. Even though the baby monitor was still on, we set aside an hour free from our to-do list to spend together.

At-home dates are great, but getting out of the house is even better! We’re still working on finding some go-to babysitters, but we’re not afraid to take our friends up on their offers to watch the baby. Some of them have kids of their own and know how hard it is to get out and some of them don’t have kids but don’t mind loving on ours for a few hours. The best part about these sitters is usually they’re free (we usually pay them in baked goods or a bottle of wine).

Our marriage will continue to grow and change along with our baby boy. The important thing is that we make it a priority! When we love each other well and make time for us we are better parents. It’s a win, win!

Andrea blogs about marriage, decorating, and life at EverAfterBlueprint.com. Read about how she fell in love with her high school prom date, one of her favorite things about living in an old house, and why she loves decorating her mantel.

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