#101: A look back at my first 100 blog posts

 photo by strandloper

The other night, as we were wrapping up watching an episode of the new Jamie Oliver series "Food Revolution" (love it!), Michael clicked over to this little blog to see what I've been up to lately. I showed him the adorable baby-and-balloon photo I found and as I was pointing out this and that, he caught something I hadn't realized at all: Hey, you've written 100 blog posts!

Well, what do you know? I have. And this, my friends, is humble post #101!

I thought in celebration of the occassion, I'd take a minute to link back to some of my favorite of those 100 posts:

Why we moved to Atlanta--and left a well-paying job, in this economy

Some of the everyday miracles God has blessed us with lately

Learning to Plant In Spite of Stormy Weather

What a step of faith looks like: Living in anticipation of our future goals

Turning Down the Job: And Lessons I Learned About Marriage

Decision-Making: Out of Fear or Faith?

Learning to embrace where God was calling me--even when it was the last thing I wanted to do

Telling my husband I love him, in three words

A Note of Caution Regarding Relationship How-to Books

Lessons I'm Learning: Embracing the unknown

Do you notice a pattern as well? Most of these "favorites" are those posts that trace the big life lessons that God has been doing in my and Michael's life together and where he's taken us through some leaps of faith. These are the things that have changed my life, the markers that line the way of how I got to where I am today.

Thanks for traveling alongside me down this bloggity memory lane. Here's to the next 100!

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The Power of Words: Learning to commend rather than complain

photo by trash_it

One of the keys that they focus on in my 30-day challenge is not just to eliminate negativity from what you say, but to replace it with more encouragement. That even seems to be more important--making sure that, viewing your words as currency, you use them to build up rather than tear down.

As I try to keep that two-part idea front of mind in my quest to forgo all negative speech (which has proven quite difficult and cause for many apologies and repentances), I also want to make strides at encouraging those around me with my words and use my speech for good, for edification.

A couple days ago was the first day that I realized that and how awkward making that bridge can be at times. For instance, our internet had been out for more than two weeks. We had called, waited patiently and still nothing. Finally, I got a phone call from an older man named Monroe. He told me he was on his way to look at the situation.

A couple hours later, Monroe called me back to let me know the progress. Then a couple hours later, he called me back again to let me know it was up and running and for me to double-check and make certain. He then made sure I held on to his phone number in case our service acted up in the coming weeks. Can you say customer service, or what?

Having worked in retail during high school, I know that it's much more common for customers to complain about service rather than commend it. That always rubbed me the wrong way, but sometimes it can feel awkward for me to ask someone, "Um, is there a way I can tell someone how good of a job you've done for me?" It sounds silly, but the idea of asking that can make me nervous--and usually wuss out.

But today, convicted with my new insights, I called Monroe and asked him. He said, "Oh I'm just doing my job; the only thing I could do is give you my supervisor's phone number." So I ended up calling the supervisor and telling him how pleased I was with Monroe's work and dedication. The supervisor then told me about how Monroe had gone above and beyond while fixing our service, because it wasn't supposed to be done until tomorrow but he wanted to see to it that we get fixed as soon as possible. He also told me that he holds on to all compliments like those to put in his employees' permanent files and that, years later, they can look back and see the kind things people said about them and the work they did.

And hearing all that, I was so glad that, for once, I took the extra couple of minutes, fumbled over the awkward words, and did the thing I knew was right.

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What It Looks Like When We Take Things Into Our Own Hands: A Story About Two Brothers

original illustration by art.crazed

Once upon a time, there were two brothers, Jacob and Esau. Essentially, Jacob was a jerk who cheated his brother out of everything. Jacob ended up with all the wealth and all the blessing, with nothing left for his big brother. And they (well, Jacob, anyway) lived happily ever after.

Am I the only one who reads this story and goes, "HUH?!" It has always ticked me off to read about how Jacob did all these mean things to his brother (though Esau definitely played a part when it came to paying for his stew) and still ended up getting rewarded by God in the end. How is that fair? I thought cheaters weren't supposed to prosper? It just didn't sit well with me at all.

Recently, I read that story again and still couldn't shake those feelings and questions about why God would reward such deceit. So I decided to do a little investigation...and finally got some answers to these questions that wrestled with my conscience.

In this story of Jacob stealing his brother's inheritance and blessing, I read in my study bible about how God had already promised that Jacob would rule over Esau, even though he was the younger brother. Yet, God's promise didn't seem enough; Jacob and his mother Rebekah decided to take matters to into their own hands and make it happen now. They used trickery and bribery to usher in something God had already promised them, rather than wait on his perfect timing!

Isn't this what we see time and time again, in the Bible and in our own lives? Abraham and Sarah are promised a baby but when she doesn't become pregnant, she has him sleep with her maidservant. God tells us he'll provide for us, but we spend time worrying and fretting about finances and accumulating wealth.

And look at the pain that it caused. The commentary in my study bible points out: Although Jacob got the blessing he wanted, his deceptions cost him dearly. He never saw his mother again. His brother wanted to kill him. His family became torn by strife. Esau became the founder of an enemy nation. He was on the receiving end of deception when he wanted to marry Rachel.

While God still used Jacob's deceptions to fulfill the purpose he'd already established, we have to believe that this was not the plan God had in mind. And had Jacob waited for God to bring it about, we can only imagine how different his life--and perhaps even the world--might have turned out!

Realizing all this has really opened my eyes to making me aware of not trying to force God's hand in my life, but to wait on him to bring about the things he has promised. (Specifically, things like the right job!)

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A 30-Day Challenge for Your Heart

photo by helga

I recently came across a section on the ReviveOurHearts.com website which includes a handful of different 30-day challenges: From cultivating a heart of gratitude to turning the TV off for a month to focusing on the power of words in your marriage. Each day, they send you an email with suggestions and insights to help you work through the month-long challenge.

For the ever self-improver in me, I wasted no time signing up. With decades ahead of me, it's important that I try to build good, healthy habits now, whether it's in my own personal life or interrelationally. Personally, I chose the 30-day Encourage Your Husband challenge, where you commit to say nothing negative about your husband and to try to be more of an encourager. The emails are short little reminders and include different ideas of ways you can encourage him, things you might never have thought of thanking him for (like the fact that he gets up and goes to work--or class--each day).

What do you think: Would you be interested in signing up for any of those challenges? Would any of you married gals like to join me on the Encourage Your Husband challenge?

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Learning to Cook: An Art I Neglected for 26 Years

I'm not normally a procrastinator. More likely, I'm apt to have an assignment done with plenty of time to spare and my to-do list cleared off. But there's one area I've discovered--only now--where these over-achiever tendencies did not translate, and I wish they had.

You see, for 26 years I never really learned how to cook.

I can decorate a house, whip up some crafts, even bargain-shop to my heart's delight. But this other facet of the art of homemaking never seemed all that important to me...until now.

Growing up, I had an Easy Bake Oven and even a little candy-making kit. But even then, the  process was all about the end result rather than enjoying the process. That mindset--that cooking is little more than a means to an end--has haunted me ever since. In college, I subsisted on granola bars, cheese crackers, easy mac and tacos. As I moved from apartment to apartment in the years following, I'd add a couple new items to my menu-repertoire (like veggie burgers and baked potatoes), but little "real cooking."

To me, cooking took too long and too many ingredients. All the recipes for things I wanted to try were so complicated. Grocery shopping was the bane of my existence, exasperating me as I meandered the aisles trying to find the simplest things on my list. From my perspective, it wasn't worth the effort it took. And let's be completely honest here: I was intimidated by it. I'd never learned how to cook, so I never attemped to learn. It was a self-perpetuating cycle.

That is, until I got married and now had someone else to think of. Even though Michael has is easy to please and would be content with a revolving schedule of pizza-spaghetti-chicken, as a new wife, cooking now took on new meaning. Suddenly, now it mattered to me. But I was (and, often, still am) lost about where to start, seeing as I never did. It has felt a bit like a mad scramble to make up for lost time and overcome my lack of a home-ec education.

The last six months have been an attempt to brush up in this area. Especially in anticipation that someday it will not just be me and Michael, but a whole family. That's quite a responsibility, and as I've come to realize, learning to cook--and learning to enjoy to cook--takes time. So I'll start learning now, so that someday I really do enjoy it.

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A Note of Caution Regarding Relationship How-to Books

In the short time that my husband and I dated and have now been married, I've read my fair share of relationship books. And many of them have been helpful and I'd recommend to others. (You can see some of those favorites here.)

But very quickly I learned something very important about these kinds of books: They're not always right.

For example, I was reading one book that cautioned wives about empathizing with their husbands. You have to be careful, the author said, not to "baby" your husband when he's upset or saddened by something. Instead, you ought to give him a good pep talk, tell him "You can do it!" and encourage him to suck it up and move along.

When I read that, I was disappointed because one of the things I love about being a wife is being there for my husband when he needs it. 

That night when he came to bed, I asked him (in a most unbiased effort), "When you're upset, which would you rather me do?" and I read the two options to him. He told me that (much to my relief) he'd prefer the first.

And so I've learned that though these books might offer good guidelines, if there's something I question, it's best for me to share it with my husband first before overhauling my whole approach to our relationship. Just because it worked for the author doesn't mean it'll work for us; every person and every relationship is different in its needs.

So as I try to uncover what it is that my husband needs from our relationship, what kind of wife I can aim to be, these kinds of conversations have helped us continue discussing our marriage, be wary of sweeping assumptions, and discover what works for us--and (as the case may be) what doesn't.

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photo by sarahxic 

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Lessons I'm Learning: Embracing the unknown

photo by nicole st. john

It feels like right now Michael and I are settling into a season of unknowing: While I'm working on a month-to-month freelance gig and looking for a full-time job, Michael is finishing up his last year of school and preparing to be a teacher. But as we all know, the teaching profession isn't all that ripe if you aren't a math/science/special ed teacher, so even there this is a big question mark looming overhead about what will happen.

And yet, while neither of us know what the future will bring and everything seems continually up in the air, I'm beginning to see the Lord at work, teaching us to release our worries, teaching us to let go of our need to have everything guaranteed for months to come, teaching us to be satisfied with a limited amount of foresight for our daily bread, teaching us to trust and increasing that trust day by day, month by month.

You, see, in spite of "not knowing" for the past 5 months, every month has been provided for us, whether it's income, groceries, a broken computer or anything else. Over and over again, he's showing us to continue on in faith and allow him to provide for us continually.

And for that, I'm learning to thank the Lord for this. I know I should praise God for the good and the bad, because you never know what He has in store to redeem the bad or the unfortunate. But it's only now where I'm able to start seeing and recognizing the fruits this experience has allowed us: growing our relationship with God, but also teaching us about being wise with our finances and learning to lean on one another.

It's beautiful when these sorts of truth begin to reveal themselves, when the foggy veil starts to pull away and the clarity of hindsight gives way. I've been listening to the free music web stream, live from the International House of Prayer and they're playing a song as I write that goes, "He's giving me counsel, even in the night. He's giving me counsel; I will bless the LORD." What a great encouragement to know that!

(I would definitely encourage you to log on and listen to the IHOP webstream. I just let it play in the background while I'm working, emailing, whatever. I've had the privilege of getting to visit there twice now, and love what they're doing there and the example they're setting with their commitment to around-the-clock prayer and worship.)

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A lesson I learned while watching a movie: Praising God “even if we lose”

photo by sleepishly

There’s a movie called “Facing the Giants.” It’s by the same church that put out “Fireproof.” It’s a feel-good football movie with a plot that is pretty familiar so far as movies go: Ragtag team of misfits can’t win a game to save their life. They’re resigned to being losers, until a coach takes heart in them. He helps them overcome the odds and come from behind to win the league—become the champions that few believed in.

(For me, the original of this genre will always be “The Mighty Ducks.”)

Anyway, this is that with a Christian twist. The team becomes good because they begin playing for “a higher cause.” (It’s a small-town Christian school, so they can get away with that.)

Michael thought the movie was really cheesy, which it is—but so are all the other movies in this category. Nonetheless, I truly enjoyed it, cheese and all.

The reason I bring the movie up isn’t to review it but to share a line that was repeated throughout the movie that I fell in love with. As the team prepared for each game of the season, the coach told them, “If we win, we’re going to praise God. And if we lose, we’re going to praise God. No matter what happens tonight on that football field, we’re going to make the choice to praise God for it.”

This simple, made-up movie scene has stuck with me and encourages me in the moments when I’m discouraged or questioning why God isn’t doing something or has let something happen. It stops me in my tracks and reminds me that in spite of what my emotions or circumstances might say about a situation, I need to praise God for it.

As Job says, in the midst of having lost all his livestock, his children and his health, “Should we take only good things from God and not trouble?" (Job 2:10)

It’s not easy to swallow my pride and thank God for the situation that’s inconvenient or frustrating or the exact opposite of what I’ve been praying for. But I grit my teeth and praise him anyway, taking the bad along with the good, and expecting him to fulfill his word and bring redemption, somehow, someway.

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