Waiting on God and Praying for a Child



The other day I started sharing about different times when the Lord has made me wait on him before he answered my prayers. I went through a few of the biggies and what God taught me through each of them. (Click here to read that initial post, in case you missed it.) The last that I mentioned was the prayer I had to have a child, a story I have not until now written much about here. But with our daughter right around the bend to being born, I thought it was time.

Here’s where we left off:

Then there was the time when my husband and I decided we wanted to have a child one whom we could raise up to know the Lord, who we could minister to and learn to sacrifice for and enter into a new kind of love for another person with. It had been a shared desired we’d both held from before we were even married—which was one of the things that attracted me to him so much in the first place.

So when we were first married, I had prayed that, when the time was right for us to start a family, the Lord would put it on my husband’s heart so that he would be the one who would bring it up, rather than me. Almost two years into our marriage, my husband (who had no idea of that prayer) told me he thought it was time. I was overjoyed at how God had answered the first part of my prayer. And so I fully expected that he would fulfill the second part (the child), as well.

But I didn’t expect that we’d have to wait for that.

I guess I figured that if God had called us to this and had ordained the time for us to begin trying, then it followed that it was in fact the right time and a pregnancy would ensue. But it didn’t.

For the first couple of months I remained positive. But then I had to start fighting off discouragement as it seemed like everyone else was getting pregnant, except me. In spite of the fact that we really desired this and had prayed about it and I wanted to be like Hannah, dedicating my child to the Lord.

About five months into the process, we began sharing our struggle with close friends in our church community, asking them to pray for us, as well. It was a prayer request that we would soon get used to sharing, over and over again, month after month.

And as we shared our desire for a child, dealing with the disappointment started to become easier. I still had many moments when I cried about it and wrestled through it, but my trust in the Lord was never shaken through it. I know his timing is best. And I had prayed that I didn’t want to have a child if it would mean they wouldn’t follow the Lord—that would be an even worse future to me than a childless one.

I began trying to see this time of waiting as an opportunity—one where I could spray paint at will and kick up my heels to read for hours on end, uninterrupted by cries or hungry mouths but my own. I also spent it reading about the call of motherhood and preparing my heart.

Because I still believed that God would fulfill my desire. I just didn’t know when.

Finally, a year after we’d first decided to start trying, I discovered that I really was content. Yes, the desire still was there, but it didn’t pull at my heart strings like it had before. I looked at the life that surrounded me and realized that it was wonderful as it was: I had an incredible husband, a stable home, a loving community, a great life full of joy and pleasure. Yes, a child would be a cherry on top of it all and enrich it even more. But I realized I could not bear to despise that which I already had for that which I did not have. What I had was good; not having a child did not make it any worse.

And of course you know what happened next. Later that month, it turns out, I became pregnant with our daughter, although I wouldn’t discover that for another five weeks.

God did prove faithful. God did finish what he started. God did not desert us, but walked us through this season so that when we emerged on the other end, our faith was strengthened and our hearts even fuller than they would have been if he’d answered those prayers right away. His plan—as it always is, we must remind ourselves time and time again—was the better one. And I can’t wait to enjoy the fruits of it here soon!

Related Posts
What Real Faith Looks Like
Overcoming the Fear of Miscarriage: Learning to Trust God with My Own Emotions

10 comments:

  1. Ah, beautiful! I especially loved this: What I had was good; not having a child did not make it any worse.

    God's plan is always the best one, even if we can't recognize it until after the fact. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true. It's very humbling when we realize that!

      Delete
  2. I can relate completely! Ted & I were in the same place last year. we had tired several months with no baby news! As all my friends kept pouring in their announcements I tried to trust in god & remain content. I decided to he's back to work and guess why? got pregnant right after! I haven't been blogging (to busy sleeping and fighting the food aversions). I'm so excited for you and praying for you as you enter this new joyous season.

    Tamara

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahhh! Congratulations! I had no idea but am so thrilled to hear the news. I do hope you provide an update at some point. So excited for you both!!

      Delete
  3. I really enjoy your blog and how you're able to make following Christ seem so easy and like the most natural thing to do in the world. I hope one day I will have the same kind of faith that you do.

    Amongin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw well I would never say that it's "easy," no matter how it may appear! There's lots of wrestling and struggling involved, but the Lord has shown me time and time again how worthwhile that is.

      I'd suggest you to read this post I wrote, which talks more about that idea of wrestling with God. I think you might find encouraging :)

      Delete
    2. I read them. It's reassuring to know that most of us go through the same struggles.

      Delete
  4. As my husband and I prepare to start trying in a few months, I find this post to be wonderfully timed! We know we have heard from the Lord to start trying, but I can't help but wonder if He has asked us to start trying so early (our original plans were to wait another year) because we may not conceive right away. I am doing my best to prepare my heart for this possibility.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love this post! I've been blogging about infertility. found your blog by searching for homemade soap :) Congrats!!!

    ReplyDelete

Next Post Previous Post
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...