Staying Productive Without a Job
I'm still new to this unemployed stint of mine, just a couple of weeks fresh off of daily phone calls and wrapping up loose ends.
It's not all that easy, you know, to spend a whole day by yourself and feel useful. It's a job of its own, to keep up with every little thing there is to do and actually do it, now while I can. The weekend that my job ended, I pulled out a big colorful weekly agenda and began scrawling out a massive running to-do list, whether big or small. Moreso than before, I feel like this is essential to enjoying this respite in which I've found myself, because without some feeling of fulfillment or satisfaction, what can be relaxing can easily become racking. This has become something of a security blanket when the feelings of boredom start to well up. I turn to my list, divided into categories, another page for daily tasks, and I get to work checking them off.
I've found it to be incredibly useful, else I'm afraid I might find myself in the middle of my living room, looking around with eyes wide, lost, and unsure of what to do with myself. Of course there are always things to do; that's one of the things I've learned about life. You can make a great meal tonight, but tomorrow another will need to be made. You can get ahead on this week's laundry, but next week a new load will surface. There's always something.
And so I endeavor to strike a balance between these productive "to do's" of keeping up with an apartment forever gathering dust and mounds of day-old clothes as well as trying to take advantage of the extra time I have to spend time at length with the Lord.
I recognize that there are few opportunities like this in life, when I have little responsibility tugging at my sleeve for 40 hours a week. It's the first time in six years I haven't held down a full-time job. And when most women find themselves staying at home full time, it usually comes with the around-the-clock job of motherhood. But here I am, a stay-at-home wife.
I don't want to look back on this season—whether it lasts a month or a year—and wish I'd taken advantage of this jewel frozen in time when I have all the time to spare to be Mary and sit at Christ's feet and soak up his teaching and ready myself for this next season of life that awaits.
And do you know, sometimes it's hard to let myself just sit. I've been in such the go-go-go, do-do-do mindset for years, that sit-stay-pray is difficult. Yet, I recognize how much I need it. For today but also for all the days to come. This is a time for me to root myself in the Lord. A pocket of time when I have the opportunity to readily drink from those waters without deadlines or diapers cutting me short. A pocket of time I must make sure to protect and savor and put to use—that unique usefulness that matters most.
Rejoicing in a Morning Slowed
Thoughts on Change and Wondering What the Future Might Hold