Seeds, Soils and Rejoicing in Slow Growth

It was about a month ago that I decided to try my hand at planting seeds. I haven't had much luck growing anything from seed, but I decided, once again, that maybe this time might be different. A month later, and I see little growth in my little cilantro seedlings. I don't know if they will sprout or not, but this exercise is teaching me something in patience and letting nature do its work.

Growth takes time. Roots must grow before the leaves can show and I can celebrate that the experiment is working. It's a vital time where too much well-intentioned watering can kill the seed before it even had a chance to flourish in the soil. We must be patient to let the seed settle in and not expect it to sprout up overnight, lush with stalk and leaf and ripe fruit. We must allow time to tend the process.

This was one of the things that was such an encouragement to me early in my faith, when I found myself upset or discouraged about how long this process of sanctification was taking, though I didn't even know that was the word for it at the time.

I remember wishing I could have it together already, know the Bible already, hear the Holy Spirit crystal-clear already. What was taking so long?!

And then I read the parable of the soils:

"A farmer went out to plant his seed. While he was planting, some seed fell by the road. People walked on the seed, and the birds ate it up. Some seed fell on rock, and when it began to grow, it died because it had no water. Some seed fell among thorny weeds, but the weeds grew up with it and choked the good plants. And some seed fell on good ground and grew and made a hundred times more.


.... "This is what the story means: The seed is God's message. The seed that fell beside the road is like the people who hear God's teaching, but the devil comes and takes it away from them so they cannot believe it and be saved. The seed that fell on rock is like those who hear God's teaching and accept it gladly, but they don't allow the teaching to go deep into their lives. They believe for a while, but when trouble comes, they give up. The seed that fell among the thorny weeds is like those who hear God's teaching, but they let the worries, riches, and pleasures of this life keep them from growing and producing good fruit. And the seed that fell on the good ground is like those who hear God's teaching with good, honest hearts and obey it and patiently produce good fruit." (Luke 8:5-15)

As I read that, I realized that it takes time for the seed to sprout and grow. It can not spring up too quickly or it will not have root—like those where the seed fell onto rock. But if we are rooted, then when the rains and rays and wrath of nature beats against us, we can withstand it and hold fast to our budding faith.

The Lord reveals one thing at a time to us. He walks us through it, instead of pushing us to a break-neck speed. And because we've moved through it slowly and completely, eyes-wide-open and able to savor it more fully, the depth of growth is that much more. We may not realize it from the looks of it above ground, where the leaves are spindly and branches limp, but below ground—where the growth matters—the roots are digging deeper and grasping hard to the spiritual sod that God has lovingly laid down.

As I mulled over this little gardening metaphor, the reality of it hit me more fully: Slow growth is often for our own good! This was an epiphany of epic proportions for me at a time, and one that I held fast to when perfectionism threatened to hurl insults and accusations at me.
 
And now, a few years later, I still look back at this insight—truly a gift from the Holy Spirit—with marvel. It touched my heart then, and it still does today, as it reminds me to breathe deeply, embrace these moments, these lessons, this blessings—these blessons—and keep sowing, digging and growing with patience.

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Garden Daydreams

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Your Questions Answered: Encouragement for the Season of Waiting to Find Your Spouse (Part 1)

QUESTION: If there are any books or passages of scripture you recommend that truly spoke to you during your season of waiting [to meet your husband], definitely let me know.

Waiting is one of the most difficult lessons in life, especially when it involves something that is incredibly near and dear to your heart, as finding a loving spouse is for so many women. I know the fears and frustrations that come along with it all too well.

So I'm going to address this question in two parts. Today, I'm going to list out some of the specific resources that I sought during my season of waiting. Tomorrow, I'm going to look back into some of my journal entries from that period and share them with you to give an upclose look at how I was encouraged.

In my experience, there was a huge variety of things that swirled together to do those things—a Scripture here, an article here, a wise word there. Slowly, slowly those things all worked together to give me the confidence to wait on the Lord in this area and trust him to deliver my heart to someone who might treasure it—and to forgo the others who wouldn’t.

I’ve mentioned before that one of the most encouraging books I read during this time (and trust me, I read many others, but none were as impactful as this) was Get Married by Candice Watters. (I shared some of my notes here as well as some bullet-point notes on my old blog.)

One of her main encouragements is to be bold in praying for a godly husband. I remember that much of the Scripture that I feasted on during this period of time was in regards to God encouraging us to ask him. I went through the Bible and marked each passage I could find where we’re told to Ask and ye shall receive with a big, inky question mark. This might seem disjointed from the pursuit of waiting for marriage, but for me, it was nourishing to know that God compelled me to ask for his gifts, of which marriage is one. This heartened my time of waiting and made it one of expectation rather than discouragement.

I also found solace in Tara Leigh Cobble's memoir, Here's to Hindsight, because here was a godly woman who also experienced heartache in regards to dating. In those moments when it's easy to feel like the whole world is against you, it's a good reminder that there are others who know what you're feeling and are journeying down this same frustrating path, as well.

Other resources that gave me special encouragement during this time of preparation also included podcasts and articles from Boundless.org, which often included godly wisdom regarding dating. Those really grounded my search and expectations and behavior toward dating, in a way that I don’t believe much else of contemporary Christian culture does. They really set the bar high and challenged me to realign what dating was going to look like in my life—and, most importantly, what it wasn’t.

Finally, I also was incredibly encouraged by other Christian couples I knew who were the real deal. I’m talking about the couples who really loved the Lord together and were a light. That inspired me and rather than stoked envy, because I saw with my own two eyes that it was really possible for two people to come together and use marriage as a tool to bring glory to God. This desire in my heart could really happen!

Tomorrow, I'll share some thoughts and insights from my journal entries during my time in waiting...

What Other Questions Do You Have For Me?

Recently, I invited you to ask me any questions you might have that I could answer in upcoming posts, whether it's follow-up regarding anything I've written about in the past, curiosities regarding any of my personal experiences, or your general blogging questions. In the following weeks I will continue to respond to your questions, so please feel free to ask any that come to mind in the comments below or send me an email. 

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Garden Daydreams

Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming.

I look our window at the towering trees, lush with leaves and squirrels and my favorite cardinal darting to and fro between their limbs. I wish I could walk up to them and sit by their trunks, with a book in hand like Rory always managed in Gilmore Girls.

But these trees are deceiving. Though they stand tall and stately outside our windows, they are planted ever so out-of-place in the parking lot outside our building. There's no lounging to be had and no stretches of grass and moss like you'd be led to believe.

No, we live in the city. In an apartment. With windows that don't even open. There's no hope of bringing vegetation into this place, although, trust me, we've tried. I tried my luck at various houseplants, all of which clung for dear life for a few days, weeks, but eventually surrendered to limp leaves and shriveled stalks.

So, when I glimpse the vibrant vista out our window, I imagine our someday-yard. When I go to the fridge to pull out some spinach for a salad or slice a tomato for a sandwich, I find myself wistful for our someday-garden. I paint myself into the reverie with a green thumb and a big floppy sunhat, while I tend to the garden rows that sprout and flourish with abandon...

It's a rainbow of colors, filled with the greens of lettuce, spinach, broccoli, string beans and bunches of kitchen herbs. Reds push through with bell peppers and tomatoes. Beneath the ground, potatoes and carrots grow without much fanfare, while I walk through, admiring all the handiwork.

I try to keep these daydreams from going too wild. (No, there won't be a citrus tree. No, an apple tree takes too long. No, I've heard watermelons are pretty fickle.) I try to be careful, knowing all too well that a garden is more than just dropping seeds in the ground and singing in the rain. I know that it is difficult and often results in more sunburn and backaches than plentiful harvests.

But sometimes I can't help it. From this side of the window, the grass sure does look greener...

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For the "In-Between" Times of Life

Psalm 126 is one of my favorites because I can relate to it oh-so often. It's what I refer to as a psalm for the "in-between" times:

Psalm 126

When the LORD brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed.  Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them." The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.

Restore our fortunes, O LORD, like streams in the Negev.

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.

In my previous Bible study in Grand Rapids last spring, we studied Beth Moore’s “Psalms of Ascent,” and looked at this particular psalm. It tells how the people are bemoaning their current situation in light of how God once blessed them so much . They desire those times again and beg God, “Restore our fortunes, LORD.” (Oh, the times when I've longed for the past like that!)

And yet, the beauty of this psalm is that they hold on to hope.

We don't do much sowing or carrying sheaves nowadays, but it's those last two sentences that grow wings and come alive to me. Look at how they talk about “sow[ing] in tears” and “go[ing] out weeping, carrying seed to sow.”

As we studied this psalm, I saw the power in these two lines: How these people pressed forward in spite of their current hardships: they continued planting…because they knew that the Lord would come along at some point and bring harvest to their actions. In spite of the discouragement and disappointment they're experiencing now--in spite of the circumstances that they face today--they look to God for hope and  hold fast to faith.

In other words, they trust not in what they can see, but in God's Word and promises.

Ecclesiastes 11:4 says this another way: “If you worry about the weather and don’t plant seeds, you won’t harvest a crop.” Even when skies are bleak or stars aren’t aligned, we have to set out and press on. We can't let the looming weather steer us away from the task at hand.

That to me is “a leap of faith.” Even if we don’t see fruit or hope immediately, we don’t give up. We continue on: asking, praying, doing, and ultimately trusting in Psalm 27:13-14: “I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

I often find myself in moments where I’m wishing I were already at the finish line, able to look back and smile appreciatively at everything in hindsight. Like with the unknown about our job situations or where we'll end up settling down. And yet, I know that what I do now--sowing with bold prayers, planting seeds by continuing to tithe rather than give in to the urge to stockpile finances, etc.--will bring about a harvest...when the time is right.

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