Secrets of a Newlywed: The Role of Being His Encourager

This is the next post in Secrets of a Newlywed, a series where I open up and share some of the lessons, insights and understandings--the little secrets--that have made my marriage the wedded bliss that it is. Like anything else, they are easier said than done. But I know from personal experience that when I do manage to live them out, I've seen what beautiful fruit they bear in my relationship with my husband. 

So, today, I share another with you: The Role of Being His Encourager

In Proverbs it says that, “A worthy wife is a crown for her husband.” That verse goes on to say that, “but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones.” Ouch.

When my husband and I were first married, I pondered that verse: Who is it that wears a crown? Someone of royalty. But how do you know that they’re royalty? Because they wear the crown. If they remove the crown, they look just like everyone else. The crown is what distinguishes them from all the others.

And, ladies, that’s what we can be for our husbands, too. We can be what distinguishes our men from all the others that are walking down the streets everyday, going into work everyday, mowing the lawns everyday.

We have the unique propensity for helping them achieve more with us by their side than they could alone!

But how do we do this?

When God created Eve for Adam, she is called his “helpmeet.” We are uniquely made to come alongside our husbands and help them. One of the ways that I believe that we do that as wives is by embracing a role of being an encourager to them.

I’ve said before how powerful I believe our words are—that every word that slips from our lips has the potential to edify or to afflict. I believe that one of the main ways for us to be an encourager to our husbands is through the words we choose when we speak to them and about them.

Because I think this is such an important subject (and I have lots to say on it!), I’m going to stop here for today and pick back up with the discussion tomorrow, where I’ll go in-depth into the words we say to our husbands, and next week I’ll address the power of the words we say about our husbands.

Until then, let’s strive to be crowns our husbands wear with pride!

(To read through all the posts in this series, click here.)

Related Posts
Notes from Love and Respect: Insights for Wives
Words of Love: 5 Ideas for Encouraging Your Husbands 


  1. Carmen, I love love love this post! Me and my fiance have been talking about this verse.. he even wants a tattoo of a crown now!(but we're still discussing that lol) I can't wait to see what else you post about this because I always strive to be his encourager, yet it is so hard at times when I feel like I need so much encouragement myself! But that crown is a good reminder to keep him first in my life when we are married (only second to God) and to help him and encourage him! :)

  2. It's such a beautiful thing to see this is action! I hope to always affirm my husband and speak life instead of easily slipping into the moment of negativity. Such a great reminder to speak life.

  3. Thanks, ladies!

    Stephanie, congratulations on your upcoming marriage! That is so great that you and your fiance are talking about these kinds of things even now! Having those conversations now and striving for the same goals will no doubt benefit your marriage tremendously!

    Tamara, I agree. Negativity can come so easily, but I do hope that I avoid it at all costs!

  4. I've been thinking about how I can encourage my husband a lot lately so this was very encouraging to read. Thanks for sharing! I'm new to your blog and loving it! I've been writing about marriage all month at if you want to check it out!

  5. I don't have so much trouble talking with my husband as I do LISTENING.

    Still working on that one =/

    Excellent post!

  6. Thanks for this reminder on a day where I have been super grumpy with my man. Convicted!

  7. I'm so glad to hear this post was an encouragement for each of you! Thanks for taking the time to leave a note and let me know :)

    P.S. Jackie, that is so true for me, as well!


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