With a new house and a blank slate on which to make my decorating mark, I’ve found myself over the past few months turning online to unearth all varieties of interior inspirations, pinning ideas and coming up with more craft ideas than I can possibly manage.
And as I’ve found so many smart ideas, I’ve also found myself growing—I'll admit it—jealous. Jealous of the houses outfitted in West Elm and Anthropologie. Jealous of the incredible renovations with breathtaking before-and-after sequences. Jealous of the owners’ mad DIY skills. Jealous of folks younger than me with houses fit for a magazine and who seem to have it all.
I’ve noticed—how quickly, how easily—it is that I’ve forgotten all that I do have when I see all that I do not have, all that I probably will not have for a long time, all that I may never have—ever.
And that’s where I get stuck. On everything that’s a “not have.” Instead of remembering all that I do have. And not just stuff, but all that I do have in my life, in my heart, in my soul.
Because, though my walls feel embarrassingly bare, I have a husband to whom I can bare my soul to him without fear.
Though my living room is filled with thrift-store furniture and hand-me-downs, my heart is rich and filled with good friends and family who are always so kind, so encouraging, so uplifting.
Though my crafts look just like that: crafts, rather than the artisan creations I had in mind, my life is a testament-in-progress to the One who is continually crafting and working me into a new creation, lovingly guiding and leading me, answering my prayers and showing me grace upon grace.
When I feel my heart starting to wish and want, I have to remind myself that there are plenty of things that I do have that are worth wanting, savoring, cherishing. And I cannot afford to neglect or dismiss those treasures. Especially not in exchange for things like curtains and couches and other accoutrements that quickly gather dust and go out of fashion.
That stuff, I have years to pick it out and make it my own. But all this, what I do have in plenty? That’s the stuff that lasts a lifetime, that truly makes a life beautiful and breathtaking. And that’s something you can’t buy at Pottery Barn.