Hello, I'm a Worrier. But, Right Now, I'm Not Worrying. (Read on for Some Big News)

It is in my nature to worry.

My mom says my grandma is always finding something to fret about, so I guess somewhere alongside my brown hair and freckles, is a thread of DNA that coaxes all my frantic worrying over things great and small.

I can remember being young—first grade, perhaps—and a thick crust of snow on the ground outside. I sat crouched in front of the television, watching the names of school districts scroll by, waiting for mine to zoom across the screen. And when I finally saw it, I waited until it went by again. I thought, maybe someone might have made a mistake and retract it. What would happen then? I had to wait and be sure.

Even then, when I had seen the name go by time and time again, I was still saddled with worries, half expecting that when I boarded the bus the next day, the driver would ask where I had been the day earlier; that there hadn’t really been a snow day.

So worry and I have had years of companionship together, plenty of time to get to know one another since those early days fretting about snowflakes and school days.

But then, oddly, there are times when I catch myself not worrying, fully aware that they are things that would typically send me into a worrying frenzy. Instead, though, I find myself in a state of peace, a peace that is so very unnatural and comes not from myself.

It’s there—that unlikely ring of peace—that I find myself in, now. As what-ifs and possibilities and big numbers and years signed off in ink swarm around me. It’s a situation where I know, left to myself, I would be filled with anxieties.

But for some reason—for some Reason—I am not.

Right now, my husband and I are in the process of buying a house.

Yes, a house. With multiple zeroes strung to its tail. With a 30-year commitment. With walls to paint and responsibility to spare.

It all came about rather suddenly—which is a story for another day.

For now, though, I stand in awe of where I find myself. This unlikely place of peace, which I know comes only supernaturally, as a sweet gift from God. It’s as if he is whispering to me, “Trust me. It’s going to be okay. There is no need to worry. I’m with you in this—in all of this, in everything and every detail. Trust me.”

And so, I do.

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. 
Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 
Then you will experience God's peace, 
which exceeds anything we can understand. 
His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 
– Philippians 4:6-7

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  1. Congrats! This is a big time in your life and I am so glad you can be at peace with it to enjoy the milestone you are experiencing :)

  2. Thanks, ladies! I appreciate it so much and can't wait to show how it all came together (yet another testimony to God's goodness!) and to share how it all comes together turning it into a home. Expect quite a few decorating posts on the horizon :)

  3. Congratulations on buying a house!
    I can relate to this post very much, as I'm a big worrier too. Sometimes I'm puzzled when I find myself not worrying, but I realise that God has given me peace - it always serves as a reminder to keep bring my worries to Him rather than continuously fretting!
    When I was 5 and there was announcement on the radio that my school was shut due to snow I didn't worry like you did. Instead I cried because I couldn't go to school!

  4. Congrats on the home! I'm definitely a fellow worrier so I completely understand. I love that Bible verse...it's kind of my go-to verse when I'm fretting about something.

  5. My good friend, Taylor (who blogs at Greater Things, http://tayloryves.blogspot.com/) just bought a house. Worry and anxiety come easily to her and me as well, so I can completely relate.

    Yet God has been bringing me closer to consistent peace and trust, and so I rejoice WITH YOU in that, because I know how good it feels. That standing in awe of how good it feels and knowing that it's God who brought you there, not your own efforts.

    Yay! :)

  6. Congratulations!!
    When we wrote the check for our down payment it was like, whoa. And it's overwhelming to think about how much we have to pay (we say that we own a wall now!) but it is the best thing I've done. I love our house, I love that it's OURS and I love that we're not moving any time soon!
    Good luck and congrats! :)

  7. Congrats, Carmen! That's so exciting! I'm so glad you're resting in His peace right now, too. So much better that way. :)

  8. the 'peace that passes all understanding' is a blessed place to be... congrats on the new home!!! :O)

  9. Thanks for the encouraging words, ladies. I appreciate that you can understand that place of worrying, although I wish none of you didn't! Just another thing the Lord is walking me through on this journey of learning to rest in Him more and more. Can't wait to share updates about the house once we're moved in!!

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  11. Wonderful! Yes it's scary, but it's also an amazing time to continue building your life together. Remember what Christ said? "All who love me will do what I say. My Father will love them, and we will come and make our home with each of them" (John 14:23).

    No matter where you end up, you will be at home with Him!

  12. My friends from law school and I joke that we all have mortgages, but ours are tied up to an 11x13 piece of paper with calligraphy on it that we have nowhere to hang up, ha! SO I'm living vicariously through all my internet friends who are taking such a big step!
    Growing up, my mom had a magnet on our fridge of two little blue birds. One was calm, the other was all puffed up. It said, "Why pray when you can worry and fret?" It always made me laugh a little, but I know that as a fellow worrier, I need to check it. I read or heard somewhere recently (I wish I could remember where), "You know, worrying about something is NOT the same thing as praying about it." It just stopped me in my tracks. How often do we go over and over things in our heads, or even aloud with our friends, and not even notice that we haven't gone over it with God?

  13. Ohhh, that's such a good reminder, Amanda! Worrying is definitely NOT praying. I'll have to remember that and repeat it to myself when I find myself in a worrying tizzy!

  14. Congratulations, Carmen!

    I will say a prayer that all goes well for you guys!

    That verse in Philippians is one of the verses I've made it a point to memorize (because I catch myself worrying too!)


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