Making My Marriage Stronger With a Fresh Coat of Paint

The past month has been a crash course in getting to know this little house of ours. I’ve found myself running to my computer to look up things like:

How to fix a broken window pane
How to add a deadbolt to a door
What kind of paint rollers to buy
How to insulate your water pipes
How to fix a doorbell

And so, so much more.

While at times it’s been admittedly frustrating and taxing and overwhelming and days have ended where I wonder if I could feel any more sore, it’s also been invigorating to realize all that has been accomplished—and with my own two hands, no less.

Slowly but surely, this humble abode is taking shape and growing stronger by the day, as project after project gets crossed off the list.

And we’ve learned so much in the process. Not only about our house itself or how to fix those problems, but also about ourselves.

I remember when my husband and I were first married and we bought our disassembled bookshelves and went to work building them in our living room. It was one of our first projects together as a married couple. And it was filled with frustrations as pieces didn’t fit together and directions were lost in translation. We had to take a break halfway through because not only was the furniture not coming together, but neither were we as a couple.

We’ve come far since those early days, learning to use softer, kinder words; to be more patient; to not get too caught up in the stuff that doesn’t matter.

We’ve become more of a team, working together on these projects. Because it’s more than just a home we’re working on. With every swing of the hammer or swipe of the paint brush, we’re also working on our relationship as we seize opportunities to practice grace and humility and kindness and compassion and understanding.

On their own, they might matter very little—a screw gets lost, which hue to choose, whether to put the table here or there. But when they’re seen in the light of cultivating opportunities to feed and foster our friendship, chances to plant another seed of love into our marriage, they are ripe with potential and possibility.

So I look around me, at our like-new window and our freshly painted walls, and I smile. Because there's so much more at work here than meets the eye...

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